Becoming a single mom through circumstances or choosing to be a single mom is entering a very unique type of parenting experience….
But where does or did the idea of the need for the ‘strong single mom’ come about, especially true within the Caribbean community
Picture of our ‘strong single mom’
Before going further, let’s make sure we are looking at the same picture. ‘Strong single mom’ … she is the lady who does it all, she bears it all silently, surviving by all means (for some even any means) necessary, she does her part and that of the other partner too, some might say she is a picture of a large section of the ‘modern-day woman’ … Watch her roar!
‘Strong single mom’ dilemma
Many modern day women do not talk much about it, because after all, we women come so far, made so much progress, and now the subtle and sometimes not so subtle mantra is, “we can do whatever men can do” …
Now hear this… even outside of the single mom, when moms are coupled the research shows that modern-day women are bearing strain since household duties, as well as other gender-expectations remain in addition to working outside the home, so many women are bearing much ‘strain’ and looking quite good doing it too even when partnered.https://www.huffpost.com/entry/working-mothers-need-changed-expectations_n_6801798
Mother’s Day gift to ‘strong single moms’ … BOSS up!
As a single mom, it means it is even more important that you be there for your child(ren). They need you literally. Often this is what pushes many ‘strong single moms’ to become ‘strong single moms’ as they keep thinking “I’m doing this for my kids” but let’s take a moment to pause and put first things first… your children need and want you around as long as possible…so it’s more important than ever single moms to become boss @ self-care
Operate @s @ CEO
Single moms in many ways are the CEO @home. And what makes for a strong organization, isn’t it a good CEO? And basically, the CEO takes a broad-look @ what’s happening and plans for 3-5 years in advance. Far too often in my office, moms are there who are dealin with
what came up all the while they were busying being a ‘single strong mom’ making sure the kids got it all, but missing some really important things….
CEO can always adjust their style…so the single mom as CEO, looks around @t her household those she holds responsibility for and considers what needs would come up and begins putting things in place by making key choices in terms of the people, places, resources she introduces or exposes them to, to help them develop into their best selves (real CEO business)
Seek Striving over Surviving
Being real though many ‘strong single moms’ find it easier to remain as ‘strong single moms’ because they are caught up in ‘surviving’ in other words anxiety rules the day, the work of a parent is never done, just imagine then for a single mom. Ironically that is the reason why moms who are operating as single moms, need more than ever to manage anxiety by learning and using stress-busting activities and instead of living in anxisty (which is actually stressing over the future) take time outs to watch possible future possibilities and plan for it (CEO action)
Share struggles sometimes
Gonna take the time to share something, met a few ‘strong single moms’ and it’s clear they could handle it! But in the day-to-day moments its easy to forget to remember as a single mom that “you can and you would handle it” … the thing is that ‘strong single mom” status can often be a very lonely place especially since many create an even tighter barrier between parent-and-child.
But whatever the circumstances or reasons for the ‘strong single mom’ status, remember the child(ren) are being impacted to, and so sometimes selectively sharing struggles can actually open up the communication lines and allow for information-sharing that could be very beneficial (sort of like when the CEO asks staff for suggestions) and more than that it creates bonding within the household and helps all to empathize with each other and be more willing to work together
To all the ‘strong single moms’ out there..do hope this blog comes as a real-time gift that lasts long beyond Mother’s Day 2019…BOSS up!