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Having recently noted an article about whether sex toys that closely look like the ‘real thing’ or not, are allowed into a certain country by law another question came…

How many relationships are allowed to pass off as the ‘real thing’ because of a basic law that in today’s society it is better to have a steady supply of sex than have to constantly seek out casual sexual satisfaction…

After all, we might welcome white still for weddings..but surely man and woman alike we are no longer too concerned with being truly ‘white’ on a wedding day…

So how then do we discover if the relationship is the ‘real thing’ or just a ‘sex den’ …

  1. Real relationships have a range… meaning they focus on many aspects that stretch the person beyond a physical sexual stretch
  2.  But then again being in a ‘sex den’ can lead anyone to pretend to stretch outside the bedroom as well as long as that sex is steady
  3. Real relationships can survive sex breaks (now the length of time is surely dependent on the couple)
  4. ‘Sex Den’ look-alikes usually either crumble under break periods or else use break periods as an excuse for the other partner going astray (interesting & ironic since surely the time would come when one or both partners might not be able to ‘go at it’ as he/she used to)
  5. Real relationships do not objectify (in real relationships while there might be an appreciation of a partner at a particular size, in specific clothing styles, or hairstyles, there is no excessive pressure to comply)
  6. But in ‘sex den’ look-alikes there are both the spoken and the unspoken expectations to satisfy some agreed ‘ideal’
  7. Real relationships embrace varied sexual experiences with varied levels of satisfaction for each or both because of an appreciation for realities and context and recent changes in 1 partner or both
  8. But in ‘sex den’ relationships it is all about the performance period

These 8 only begin to scratch the surface… and truth be told as one meme suggested …

“sex can keep a “relationship” going for a very long time”

But usually, we know…

so the bigger question is if we do what makes up not either;

@ level-up that relationship (if possible)?

@ stay?

Guess its because we are all white with the sexuality as it shows up in the relationship…

Isn’t it great to have a great beginning? and we smell success, but a smell of success is not a taste of success… and so it has been that Jamaica Tallwahs started off with a big bang..but what happened…

#carryon big bang theory …. could it be that the team fell into the trap that with the initial big bang success was already created…well whether that is the case or not… we still have a great carryon reminder… the end of a thing is better than the beginning thereof… so we must beware of rejoicing too soon and keep level-headed and push on through…

#carryon big bang theory 2… is it that with such a great showing of Andre Russell the team fell back thinking that they could become 1-dimensional… well whether so or not again we have another #carryon tip… anytime we fail to adapt and reinvent ourselves based on what is happening in the now… the best we can become is a ‘one hit wonder’….

and so it was the Jamaica Tallwahs met up with Guyana Amazon WARRIORS! AND  here is where we had a 21-year-old shine through no doubt having been trained in that warrior-mindset …

“Shimron Hetmyer became the youngest centurion in CPL history, and the first to do it on American soil, as Guyana Amazon Warriors rallied to victory by 71 runs to hand Jamaica Tallawahs their first loss of CPL 2018. “

How ironic though; 

Tallawahs actually had a better Powerplay than Amazon Warriors, reaching 69 for 1 after six, compared to the visitors’ 60 for 2. Much of that was down to the hot start provided by Glenn Phillips.http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/8623/report/1148657/jamaica-tallawahs-vs-guyana-amazon-warriors-11th-match-caribbean-premier-league-2018

well, we already talked about that hot start… so now we can give focus on the spirit of the warrior… a spirit that we need in the game of life… so what if we don’t get the ‘better start’ or the ‘best start’… the warrior says sh**** that and presses on with tunnel-like focus…

any surprise then our Guyana Amazon Warriors have topped their group! …

Hmm, could you imagine Jamaica TALLWAHS destroying Trinbago Knight Riders only to lose 3 following games then to face this team they destroyed again… what’s the carryon then… no doubt the thought of facing a challenge we defeated could be used as a confidence booster… and the mere fact that it was a fairly close game suggests that this is just what might have happened   

But Trinbago Knight Riders had their own #carryon approach to battle that… what was it? the desire/the drive to redeem self, to make use of another chance to get a win, and that sort of #carryon can empower a sort of higher level resilience and in this case it worked for a win…

Although Trinbago slipped 28-3 after six overs, with Imad Wasim having bowled Sunil Narine for a third-ball duck, Colin Munro (67) was backed up well by Darren and Dwayne Bravo – who both struck five sixes in their innings to take last year’s winners to the brink. https://wired868.com/2018/08/19/cpl-18-tkr-win-last-ball-thriller-in-florida-as-dj-bravos-men-exact-revenge-on-tallawahs/

In reply, Imad Wasim took an impressive 2-17 from his four overs but Darren Bravo’s 50 off 35 and captain DJ Bravo’s quickfire 36 off 11 saw them ably assist Munro as Trinbago edged a tightly-fought game.http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/jamaica-tallawahs-v-trinbago-knight-riders/22288/11477314/article

 

The saying goes ‘once beaten twice shy’ But that is surely not a #carryon saying … for if we shy on the second surely we are almost guaranteed a second defeat…

and in this way St. Lucia Stars showed great #carryon as they met with Trinbago Knight Riders for yet another time…

they had it down to a science… again great #carryon … for we do our best when we do that SWOT analysis … considering Strengths Weaknesses Opportunities and Threats … as someone put it…

“At 130 for 2 in 15 overs, Tom Moody called out on the TV commentary that Stars should target 12 an over for the rest of the way to get to 190. For a team that has struggled to score runs and was bowled out for just 95 when these two sides met in the opening match of the season, the suggestion may have seemed optimistic. But by the end of the innings, hindsight showed Moody’s prediction was actually quite conservative.” https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/18816/report/1148655/st-lucia-stars-vs-trinbago-knight-riders-9th-match-caribbean-premier-league-2018

What now? What do we do when despite trying yet again… we get bettered on the field?…

It’s all about the attitude we continue to hold for each OV–ER…

For the St. Lucia Stars having faced defeat after defeat, now setting up things for a win, with a great #carryon show by their captain Pollard, what now?

Opportunities Vary– Enforce Resilience

As one cricket guru mentioned (thanks David) one over can make all the difference… as a Sports Talking Therapist dare say… each over makes a difference… here’s how?

Each over brings with it new opportunities… the bowler’s style, a possible catch out, an LBW, a great strike, lots of 4’s & 6’s, no balls, wides… and it goes on and on… and it is whether we can ‘weather’ each over managing our mind no matter what is happening and adapting quickly that we are able to either get the best result or reduce the undesired result…

Unfortunately for the St. Lucia Stars second time around it was about reducing the undesired result… https://wired868.com/2018/08/17/cpl-18-dm-bravo-smashes-94-from-36-balls-as-trinbago-knight-riders-stun-st-lucia-stars/  

Imagine going on and on, working hard, and simply not being able to as they say ‘catch a break’ … well, this is the story of the St. Lucia Stars… what then was their #carryon factor for them to now face Barbados Tridents again its the

OV-er…

Opportunities Vary (the St. Lucia Stars would have no doubt needed to view the upcoming match now as yet another opportunity for that 1st win)

enforce resilience (but let’s accept it though there is ‘RESILIENCE’ and there is ‘ReSiLiEnCe’ and there is ‘resilience’) but in the grander scheme of things, especially when the going gets tough…it doesn’t matter…bottom line is we found that will to #carryon

So in comes the Barbados Tridents!

and sure enough as with all of us as the game goes on in cricket and in life in general, we always come to the field with our own ‘backstory’ https://www.cricbuzz.com/cricket-news/100671/barbados-tridents-players-paid-dues-ahead-of-cpl-2018-draftsthat can either help out our #carryon or challenge it

For Barbados Tridents it was no matter of ‘once beaten twice shy’ as they were coming on the field with the confidence booster of a win over Guyana Amazon Warriors http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/guyana-amazon-warriors-v-barbados-tridents/22316/11471451/article

But this time it was St. Lucia Stars who bettered the Barbados Tridents… ‘try’

after all the St. Lucia Stars had been trying and trying and trying and trying… surely all of that would keep enforcing resilience… as ironic as it is #carryon works like that too…the more we exercise it the stronger it gets…and so ‘The Big Man’ and his teammates brought it home that first win http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/st-lucia-stars-v-barbados-tridents/22313/11475431/article

Heard the saying “if at first, you don’t succeed” well according to the St. Lucia Stars its really ‘if at fourth you don’t succeed’ and that right there is true #carryon … and its because they know

Opportunities Vary…Enforce Resilience!

Many times when clients have a tough time experiencing their feelings or expressing themselves there is 1 thing that has worked …

MUSIC …

MUSIC is energy in motion usually coming through the airwaves and directly influencing our body chemistry …something many of us take for granted…

so for many of us musicians, singers, DJs, music stations are our lay therapists…

Well, recently one of our World-renowned lay therapist aka singers… Aretha Franklin has passed on  https://www.freep.com/story/entertainment/music/2018/08/16/aretha-franklin-dies/309137002/

SO LET’S highlight some of this lay therapists great works…

RESPECT… so many love songs talk of this giddy love feeling but Aretha took our attention to a #healthyrelationship biggie 101 …

there can be no healthy loving relationship without mutual respect 

“ALL i’M ASKING is for a little RESPECT!” …

RESPECT … consideration for my rights my feelings  …

We wonder if Aretha was especially talking …opps singing to women in abusive relationships… especially the subtly emotionally abusive ones…where many women settle and accept being totally disregarded because of their love for their partners and desire for a lasting relationship…

RESPECT … then is a call to work at creating that healthy relationship

Now that this lay soul therapist has left us… do you or someone you know need to hear her sing those words again…

R-E-S-P-E-C-T… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAI_Nv3qWto 

How do we get RESPECT?

Often said… we get that relationship we think we deserve… so if we find respect a bit lacking in our relationship…maybe we can begin by looking in the mirror and singing the song along with Aretha and discover ways daily to do things that show to ourselves…

“I value all my feelings”

“I consider my opinions/values/desires… as worthy”  … 

when our actions show this more and more…

then we would naturally gravitate toward people who show RESPECT and if or when it is not there … the things we can do would begin to come to us..for Aretha (of course) it was to sing a song…

and if all else fails..always online #livechat support @  https://karryon.privacemail.com/ 

The only thing more unnerving than facing a seasoned ‘warrior’ is facing a seasoned ‘warrior’ with a determination to win and who just experienced the strengthening power of victory  …

Guyana Amazon Warriors playing home matches were in their element, their natural environment and it showed… #carryon factor use resources wisely… not just natural resources, but psychosocial resources… and this team knowing its unique resource (much like their ‘white’ gold) https://www.caribbean-beat.com/issue-6/guyana-gold-new-tourism#axzz5ODlyCx2C was doing just that

As one article commentary put it ”

Victories over St Kitts & Nevis Patriots and St Lucia Stars would have given them hope of ending the first home leg of the CPL campaign on a winning note”…..

But Try(i) dents warriors will… 

After putting things in place…Barbados team took to the field with a simple mission…try for victory… and that they did huge #carryontip here … the effort or the ‘umph’ behind our try needs to be high if we expect to make any sort of dent or impact when facing a strong resistance…

Barbados tridents understood this and so their try got the job done, so while the Warriors focused on that winning note…

“… on a winning note – but Chadwick Walton’s harsh lbw decision off the bowling of Jason Holder gave the Tridents an early breakthrough… 

Holder turned the screw on his opponents as Rutherford toiled, conceding just four runs from his final over to leave the Amazon Warriors requiring a daunting 53 from the last three overs…”

So the ‘umph‘ http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/guyana-amazon-warriors-v-barbados-tridents/22316/11471451/article of the Tridents was definitely there…and simply put

U Must Prepare Heartily 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-QCyNnf8wM

U Must Plan Heavily 

&

U Must Play HARD (Having A Rugged Determination) 

Stepping unto the pitch after being dealt a blow of defeat and add to that expectations to perform…and we know St. Lucia Stars are doing something right…

the first #carryon rule is to show up…

“Set 142 to win, Stars seemed set for a rare victory at 113-2 in the 17th over despite the departure of David Warner, who was somewhat unfortunate to fall lbw to Imran Tahir (2-23) for 11.” http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/guyana-amazon-warriors-v-st-lucia-stars/22298/11470560/article

but showing up is only the beginning …. the next is to do your best… again kudos to that #carryon displayed by the St. Lucia Stars

Guyana Amazon Warriors 141 for 4 (Ronchi 42, Ahmad 3-15) beat St Lucia Stars 138 for 7 (Simmons 45, Emrit 3-26, Tahir 2-23) by three runs…

just 3 runs… what could have given this Guyana team the edge…

#carryontip… have a Warrior spirit…

So far St. Lucia Stars have failed to shine through to victory….any surprise after all stars shine through under very specific circumstances…. is the game of cricket like that… just ask a player who has played when the game had to be stopped for rain… or an opposing batsman or bowler was having an extraordinary day…

#carryon tip…either adapt to the circumstance or create the desired circumstances…

and that is what Warriors do…so is it any surprise the 3 they were able to muster to bring home the Victory http://www.espncricinfo.com/series/18816/game/1148650/guyana-amazon-warriors-vs-st-lucia-stars-4th-match-caribbean-premier-league-2018 

Coaching warriors @ https://karryon.privacemail.com/

 

 

Having won…feeling confident…knowing the team is ready and willing with its allrounders… Trinbago Knight Riders took to the field…

great #carryon…focus and attitude in place…the team delivered…

AND THEN…ahem! and then…

Coming in prepared and ready for their first encounter…the Jamaica Tallawahs have neither the doubt of defeat to dismiss or the remembrance of victory to give some extra bravado …

#carryontip the good thing when we focus on performance without limits is that we can exceed those limits…

and that is exactly what this team did…

but it was thanks to a cricket who has been described as a ‘T20 Specialist’… Andre Russell…

#carryontip learn all you can about the game, the situation to produce performance

Now for the  Trinbago Knight Riders they had to keep their focus as the game went on …but how do you keep your composure while having your feathers ruffled by the Russells of T20 Cricket http://www.skysports.com/live-scores/cricket/trinbago-knight-riders-v-jamaica-tallawahs/22306/11469734/report  

when you step up to that pitch and would rather not have another attempt be hit for 6? https://wired868.com/2018/08/11/cpl-18-super-display-from-russell-stuns-oval-champs-tkr-edged-in-record-breaking-affair/

#carryontip … when we focus on playing for honours versus playing for pride…in the game of life we can get lost in the pride of life and it might be great but definitely makes it tough if/when our feathers are ruffled… but ah..when we play the game for a bigger purpose, there is a passion the keeps us going….

anytime your feathers or that of someone you might know gets ruffled… #carryonsupport is available 27/7 with either #therapy or #lifecoaching using #livechat @ https://karryon.privacemail.com/

 

And the CPL T20 Series is off… http://www.looptt.com/content/cpl-gets-underway-tkr-vs-st-lucia-stars

What could we glean from Game 1…

Here we have Trinidad Knight RIders (TKR) coming out on top…https://newsday.co.tt/2018/08/09/tkr-beats-st-lucia-stars-in-cpl-opening-match/

What could we notice about this team that might have made a difference…

this team understood and practiced the concept “the chain being as strong as its weakest link” and so each one who stepped onto that field brought their A game to give the collective effort victory…

What might have happened though with the St Lucia Stars? These stars surely did not shine in this match…

kudos to captain Keiron Pollard who noted that ‘TKR’ simply got the better of them…

was it because as …

TKR captain Dwayne Bravo highlighted, TKR has quite a few allrounders?

or was it that St Lucia Stars having brought on ‘the big man’ as captain went forward on the field with a sort of false bravado … or could it have been that given the team’s past performances the burden to deliver was too great and the team psyched out…

Or was it simply that TKR really got a boost from playing a home match?

Now as a Sports Talking Therapist, some #carry on tips might be worth noting;

  • we all improve performance when we seek out others who work with us for that desired end result
  • no matter how skilled or what our strengths, at some point our #carryon would require skills and strengths that lie outside of us
  • #carryon suffers whenever there is complacency
  • pressure to perform can decrease capacity to perform
  • #carryon benefits when we make good use of all opportunities

Well for TKR a new match is brewing… and the St. Lucia Stars would have  another opportunity to shine

 

America’s Got Talent!…its huge! why? because of the fact that talent matters. but now we know these shows are International… why? because people got talent hidden … just waiting for the opportunity to come out

And the Caribbean got T20Cricket…, sometimes written Twenty-20, and often abbreviated to T20, is a short form of cricket. In a Twenty20 game, the two teams have a single innings each, which is restricted to a maximum of 20 overs. So T20 sort of reflects America’s got talent where batsmen, bowlers, those fielding can display their skills. It’s a time-bound…

#resilience loves knowing the timing when that ‘bell’ would go…its easy then to hold out just a little bit longer

#resilience favours time-bound situations because then our weaknesses can remain covered up a little longer and we do not have to ‘control’ for them…

so many have asked… how is it we can clearly notice the talent at T20 and yet have the West Indies drop in its Test Cricket ratings… well as a Sports Talking Therapist would share but only after allowing one who has ‘been there done that’ to have a say…https://wired868.com/2018/08/05/cover-drive-video-brian-lara-talks-cpl-test-v-t20-and-west-indies-missing-ingredient/

Okay…Test Cricket…is much more reflective of the uncharted territories of that ‘open book test’ called life… it is ongoing with the opportunity for life to challenge us on our weak points…to bowl us some ‘odd’ balls, to get run out, to want to stop but yet needing to find the will to carry on in spite of, to be on the losing end of the game and search within for the resolve, to be winning the game and needing to remain focused to really reach the goal, https://sports.ndtv.com/cricket/2nd-test-day-2-jason-holder-shines-as-west-indies-dominate-bangladesh-1883071to have to deal with cross-cultural issues, and it goes on and on and on..more than ’20-0vers’…

So what is required? 

Mastering our mind gym before taking that field and putting all our work from that mind gym into use…

Our Mind Gym

we need to work out doubts but not simply by positive self-talk but by practical preparation…and during this time, preparation includes becoming very familiar with what we would confront…http://zeenews.india.com/cricket/1st-test-west-indies-hope-to-end-22-win-less-years-in-new-zealand-2061321.html

we need to take stock of the fact that anything can happen on the field, or the day before, or the moment before, and so our stress management, relaxation strategies need to be in tune

we need to do ‘jumping jacks’ and figure out those triggers that might cause us to suddenly become anxious, ‘is it a comment’ from the fans/critics, is it something, in particular, that might be said and have a contingency plan to keep the focus

Practical Application

It is one thing to train and another to put training to use…

we can begin to put that training to use by visualizing plays, visualizing performing at different skills

we then need that key factor called adapt adapt…good teams are able to take all learned, all preparations, observe then what is happening and adapt for the benefit of the desired outcome…suppose the player there was an intention to depend on is having an ‘off’ day..what then..is all lost…suppose the winning streak was on and the match had to be disrupted…is that it there for the game? 

Life is a test…and working out at our mind gym is not optional its a must no matter how many strengths we have going for us…   

 

 

Ever lifted a shot put? that darn thing is so #heavy…or is it…

in the sport of shot put…the sportsperson feels the weight and uses the weight to their benefit…

in life, we can do heavy…

Have Every Activity Validate You!

what does that mean? use everything and make it work..think about it..if or when something has already happened…then what?….

if we just focus on how heavy it is…and stand there holding that thing/that shot put…nothing happens does it….https://wired868.com/2016/07/29/queen-cleo-on-unfinished-olympic-business-repping-mayaro-and-being-consistently-awesome/

But when we feel heavy and prepare ourselves for the throw…throw…

the focus now is on using the experience and pushing forward… just think about what the sportsperson doing shot put does…they …

position/prepare and throw…

Take #Heavy Reach Out where …. we desire to go or move to in the future…

So feel heavy and throw!

#lifecoaching supports that throw https://karryon.privacemail.com/

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