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Whether its Royal Baby Archie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oYXh6PY6Kg 

or an ‘everyday biracial couple’ giving birth, there remains a certain amount of subtle and at times not so subtle, privilege and or pride that comes with that approximation to ‘whiteness’https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/14/style/white-guilt-privilege.html

Diluted Blue Blood

Yet for the mixed race person this ‘blue blood’ aka ‘white privilege’ is an interesting irony with much subtle and at times not so subtle stress and tension surrounding it. Interestingly enough this everyday experience is somewhat mirrored even as it was decided that Royal baby Archie https://www.express.co.uk/news/royal/1124540/meghan-markle-baby-name-archie-harrison-royal-baby-title-prince-harry 

would not be given a title at this time.

Yet we would agree that Royal baby Archie is no ‘ordinary’ baby

Similarly being born of mixed race is a unique experience sort of like being ‘born grey’; a hybrid

Hybrid Hurts

Even as bi-racial couples celebrate their love child/children, there are some social realities that are often neglected. RACE IS a social construct and being ‘born grey’ as it were means that the biracial child comes into a push-pull or love/hate or bi-polar sort of expereince depending on the social environment they would find themselves in.

Today they might be admired and tomorrow they might be resented or vice versa, all based on the environment they find themselves in https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/halle-berry-opens-being-biracial-211500720.html

Great Greyhound Approach

For the biracial or mixed race person or child then, there is the need to;

M-Master their own self-concept…because the World and society might say one thing today and another tomorrow, it becomes more important than ever for that child, the person to decide how he/she wishes to identify racially and by ethnicity (and the two do not need be the same) and stick to it

I-but even so it would be important to find a way to integrate what society says and who society says so that their self-concept which they choose for themselves remains grounded in reality..for example; “I know people might think of me as…but I prefer to ….” a great example was Tiger Woods invented word https://theundefeated.com/features/tiger-woods-dui-arrest-police-only-saw-black/

X- x-men concept, holding an appreciation for being a sort of ‘x-men’ in a World where many esteem themselves based on racial identity can also help persons of mixed race to embrace self-acceptance and remain grounded in being just that ‘mixed’ reducing the pressure to overly-identify with any one race over the other

E-exploring emotions and expressing emotions in a safe way and space also becomes important especially if or when hidden feelings arise with varied treatments met out to biracial children from the same family because of their appearance http://www.karryonservices.com/counselor-profile/

D-Develop diversity appreciation, being ‘born grey’ is evidence of diversity working together for good and one of the greatest gifts a mixed race person might eventually give to self is respecting even diversity of views on race and race relations and in there deciding and respecting what there own views would be  

As we grow we imagine how life would be, especially as a teen. Well as a teen things took an unexpected turn. Exam results were in, not the best results…

Unexpected twists & turns

It meant for me, not moving along with friends @ that time into College/University but going off to work and study part-time to eventually enter College/University @ a later date.

As a teen, it was nothing short of terribly devastating (and if you recall teen years or are parenting a teen, you really know what that means)

Meeting Mr. Wright

Then the day came, walking into the interview room to screen for the start of my ‘short-term’ “career” as a teacher. Looking around the room, thinking of my friends, this ‘new life’ and then this kind-eyed short Teddy-looking man asks the question, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/teen-angst/201503/high-school-and-beyond “what makes you want to become a teacher?” “ha! I thought, because right now I need to…” but then his eyes were so kind, his way was so patient that I found myself searching myself and replied “I really love children and enjoy supporting their development” (remember thinking wow, never knew that…just learnt something about myself, ‘this man must be a real teacher’) then he asked, “what makes you think, being so little, with many of the children being bigger than you that they would ‘respect you’?” … (respect…again never thought of that) but responded “because I might be little but I can handle myself” and he laughed we both did.

Teacher Wright

Yesterday was the Memorial Service for Mr. Wright. Mr. Wright would always be remembered as the teacher who in a sense ‘saved me’ (seems strong a word) but yes saved me and gave guidance. Without him realizing it, he helped bring cheer to a moment when things felt depressing, he helped me find my passion (working with young people, supporting human development), he helped me very early in my career to appreciate that if there is no respect, there can be no enduring genuine professional relationship, ironically he was like a #lifecoach pointing me in the direction of my future, helping me find my ‘True North’ my calling all when life seemed off cours…e!

Today as an educator, trained therapist, certified life coach, and psychologist-in-training ultimately the aim is to support others to their ‘True North’ and finding their ‘right’ direction http://www.karryonservices.com/counselor-profile/life-coach-profile/

P.S. Also remembering a past co-worker Mr. Howe

So we began exploring how do we know/if or when we might be being a bit ‘overprotective’ http://www.karryonservices.com/2019/05/02/are-you-raising-your-child-to-conquer-their-world/

A … about Anxiety

Anxiety is basically a feeling of apprehension/reluctance/fear/misgiving about some future outcome. This feeling comes with some sort of biological and/or behaviour response. It shows up then in either doing things or avoiding doing things.

For children between the ages of 5-12 especially anxiety goes against their natural developmental tendencies which is to explore, learn and build a sense of industry (satisfaction with getting things done).

So how could ‘overprotection’ move children away from industry and toward a general anxiety?

Scenario 1:

Tracey (not her real name) was the baby in the family. Her brothers and sisters were a decade and some older than her. Her mom experiences some difficulties and was very particular about ‘preparing’ Tracey for the World she must face and the types of people she would meet. To do this mom made sure that Tracey got a strong religious background, emphasizing that the ‘God of the Universe’ would deal with ‘wicked people’. Now, Tracey came to the office because she was not doing as well in school as mom desired and could do better according to her teacher. Meeting Tracey, one thing was clear, she understood that the World was a very dangerous place with lots of wicked people. She understood that she should ‘guard’ herself from ‘evil influences’. But what was more was that the lightness that usually comes with being a child was lost. What was happening? In mom’s desire to protect and teach spirituality, Tracey was being drained of … openness to experience, a sense of safety, trust vs. general mistrust, and so she could hardly be free enough, keep energy enough to focus on her ‘work’, her school work.

For industry, children need to feel like a child and part of that is the sort of bliss (sheltering from some harshness as it were) so that they could get on with the business of their day … their school work..etc.

Scenario 2: This one would be kept short.

Chad looked on at what was taking place in the home between his parents. He knew his parents “pretended” as if everything was alright for his sake. Chad was underperforming in school. In chatting with Chad it became clear that ironically his parents attempts to ‘protect’ him from what was happening was causing the opposite response. Chad ‘did not want to turn out like his dad’. He came to the conclusion that mom was frustrated and disappointed and he thought eventually ‘they would split’. Even though Chad is an older child, being a young teen, his reasoning remained as a child and without realizing it he was choosing to ‘stop working on his work…schoolwork’ almost as if in some way this might ‘solve’ the problem. But more importantly it was Chad’s way of dealing with his anxiety of becoming a man he could not like.

Sometimes in ‘protecting’ children from what is already obvious to them, the reverse happens because children do tend to come with very active imaginations.

So if you notice that general anxiety or a tendency to not be as interested in their activities (school work etc.) chances are there is some sort of anxiety about the future in one way or the other…http://www.karryonservices.com/

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While we are becoming a smaller and smaller global village with each advancement in technology, some customs and cultures remain very regional.

Cannabis Global Culture

Cannabis or Marijuana is one of the most widely used drugs in the World https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/media-guide/most-commonly-used-addictive-drugs 

Now with the global move to explore more of medical marijuana use and to legalize it, cannabis appeal would widen https://www.marketwatch.com/press-release/cannabis-reaches-new-demographics-due-to-its-medical-appeal-2019-03-14-920200 

Surely a plant, a “herb”, some say “healing of the nations” being put to good use must be a good thing.

Cannabis in Caribbean Culture

Apart from its medical uses, recreational use of marijuana remains for most its real appeal. Within the Caribbean context, where, ‘chilling out’, ‘liming’, ‘hanging out’ is a standard stress-buster, alcoholic drinks are often included as the relaxing substance.

Aside in private, with the current criminalization of cannabis or marijuana, similar stress-buster ‘chill outs’ ‘limes’ ‘hanging out’ take place in private with marijuana being the relaxing substance.

Now, with the movements to decriminalize and/or legalize marijuana, soon we would find marijuana being included in Friday night limes, legitimate parties etc.

What makes Marijuana so special?

We use alcohol and cigarettes, as socially-acceptable drugs, so what’s the big deal with marijuana?

Firstly, let’s review the definition of a drug; “a chemical that has a therapeutic effect on a disease or its symptoms” …

It’s already established that a drink or two, creates a relaxing feeling and helps many unwind.

Think of marijuana, then as 10X over alcohol and here is why, there are chemicals in the marijuana that mimic the work of prescribed drugs for anxiety-related mental health concerns. So in other words marijuana might be thought of as a ‘naturally occurring anti-anxiety self-medicating drug’. https://www.livescience.com/58353-marijuana-chemical-cannabidiol-could-help-fight-anxiety.html

Legalized Marijuana a Teen Treat

With the legalization and decriminalization of marijuana, now more and more teens can comfortably easily access an anti-anxiety “pull”, stress-at-home, social-anxiety, relationship challenges…you name it!

But along with its anti-anxiety self-medicating treat are the subtle dangers…

Marijuana repeatedly found to possibly provoke psychotic-like responses in vulnerable populations. During teen time the brain is yet developing…how do we now reach the teen in time who might be showing real symptoms of a mental health concern before self-medicating and potentially casing more harm to their mental well-being?

Caribbean Cure

Furthermore among a region with a preference for religious-oriented approaches to address most day-day concerns, we now add an easy-to-get, stress buster, as one client put it….

“when I take my little ‘pull’ I feel so good, so relaxed, then I take a few minutes and back at it again”

Meanwhile the concern remains unaddressed, but the anxiety it provoked is reduced for the while, and it can be done again, and again and again…

More and more then counselling in the Caribbean would be a thing for those who dare, for the courageous who would endure momentary discomfort, for greater comfort in time to come http://www.karryonservices.com/therapy/

Sports Top 10

In the world of sports, like in the world of music there are the popular songs and then those we occasionally hear. In the world of sports, the ones we hear about and follow most, in or out of season, in or out of Olympics or a main sporting event are;

baseball, basketball, table tennis, volleyball, football, cricket, field hockey, rugby, golf, tennis https://www.worldatlas.com/articles/what-are-the-most-popular-sports-in-the-world.html

Then there are sports like swimming. Yes, of course for Olympics we know of those who excel like Michael Phelps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7bj_LUIY7Y 

Swimming, Desire & Social Pressure of Sport

But let us be honest for a moment here, the top 10 sports deal with a “sexiness” of their own, meaning the sport itself draws the crowds. For swimming though, where does the average mind go, is it not to swimsuits illustrated.

https://www.si.com/swimsuit/subcategory/50+Greatest+Swimsuit+Models

So swimming athletes like Phelps who won his 19th Olympic gold medal and like retired Trinidadian swimmer George Bovell must maintain a different DESIRE level from sportsperson in other fields.

Desire by the way, is that push in the athlete for success and to strive for excellence in their sport. It is easy to love the sport of swimming, but after meeting the social pressures that come with being an “underdog-sport” (reduced financing, reduced recognitions) it is easy to move into hobby-mode. No wonder Bovell later in his career supported future swimmers striving for professional sport status with the introduction of “The “George Bovell Dive In Free Swim Clinics 2015” were held at facilities in St. James, Macoya and San Fernando over January 15-17th, with the prestigious athletes teaching training methods, skills and drills with the purpose of not only encouraging the young attendees within the sport of swimming, but by also offering up hope and inspiration as they interacted and collaborated with the participants.” https://swimswam.com/george-bovell-visionary-sport/

Because the swimmer must not only begin with desire BUT MAINTAIN DESIRE to even reach a point of;

Confidence, Self-Discipline & Consistency

https://www.ranker.com/list/best-olympic-athletes-in-swimming/voteable

and so in some sports more than ever, or should we say especially in u.s.a. (not USA) (underdog sporting activities), the athletes sporting psyche becomes more important than ever! http://www.karryonservices.com/coaching-services/ 

 

Enjoyed being around lots of children yesterday from tiny tot to terrific teens (or maybe for some parents, it sometimes ‘the terrifying teen’ lol) either way, one question came to mind; are our children being raised to conquer their World?

Our New World

Children of today find themselves in a World the actually gives them little time for ‘child’s play’, let me explain. Very early in the child’s life they directly or indirectly and increasingly would be being made aware of the dangers around. Even if parents try to ‘hide’ the media is everywhere and in every form. Yet parents remain with the responsibility of helping their children feel safe and secure. And for children to develop healthy, literally to keep a sound sane mind, they need a sense of safety and security.

Parenting Dilemma

The parenting dilemma then is how to move beyond making children feel safe to putting things in place to keep them safe. And here in comes the sometimes intentional and sometimes unintentional ‘overprotectiveness’ of some parents. But some might say, “in today’s World we must…to safeguard children”. But the thing to remember is as parents we are raising the adults of tomorrow, so eventually these now children must move off and deal with this New World.

So ‘overprotection’… how do we recognize it?

P—Paralysis … if or when our approach as parents lead to our children’s ‘paralysis’ meaning that they become ‘fearful’ of taking action because they feel unable to without parent’s presence (relative to the age of the child of course) or because they consider a situation more scary than it is then… it’s ‘overprotection’ (instehttps://ct.counseling.org/2018/02/parenting-21st-century/#ad)

P—Protection promotes progress … the child who feels protected in the right measure, moves out confidently and explores new activities and actions (again relative to their age), knowing that if needed they could easily turn to parents for assistance and guidance

But even with that being said it is an ongoing process as parents … it’s helpful then to check-in with ourselves sometimes to ensure our parenting protection is being given in good measure http://www.karryonservices.com/ ….tune in next week for the “A”


What’s trending? Whatever it is chances are it’s something we get pleasure from talking about or feel comfortable exploring.

While many are continuing in marital bliss, there is a growing group who remain significantly silent;

“The news is not good for black women when it comes to finding a partner. Where not long ago there were roughly two married women to every single woman, those numbers have gradually reversed over the past few decades—now, more than 60 percent of black women have either never married or are divorced.” https://www.amazon.com/Sole-Sisters-Pains-Single-Black/dp/193284127X

What many are not saying?

Ava an attractive young lady was pleased to finally meet someone she could now build an ongoing committed relationship with. And what would you know, he was also of the same race. They dated, moved in together and eventually married. A few years later, the cheating began.

Brenda an attractive female after being friends with this guy for years, found herself in a relationship with him. After some months, thinking they were on the same wave-length, Brenda realized he wanted more time ‘to play the field’.

What is similar with Ava and Brenda?

They are both ‘black women’. And now form a growing part of that group of women never married or divorced. What Ava and Brenda said;

  • when would more ‘black males’ reject the subtle and not so subtle training mainly targeted @ them to ‘play the field’ and objectify women
  • how do black women contend with the trend of making non-black women more appealing to ‘black males’ lessening the already depleted pool of black males who are high in numbers in our prisons and increasing choosing homosexuality
  • does it even matter what black women think?

Ms. Independent

Both Ava and Brenda carryon living and loving their lives and enjoying their independence. Yet again what they silently note but don’t say;

  • the idea of the ‘independent black woman’ is also being used against them to suggest that ‘they been single so long, they won’t know what to do with a good man’
  • being independent also puts them at risk as they get older, for liberated younger men looking for a ‘sugar mama’ and/or at risk from males not yet secure enough to deal with an ‘independent’ female ww.youtube.com/watch?v=h4yhOywnNTw
  • sometimes when they do speak up, they are labeled as ‘mad black women’ (and that’s a thing)

Supporting how you carryon #therapy and #lifecoaching @ contact http://www.karryonservices.com/

Once upon a time, Test Cricket was the true test of the cricket, including the West Indies cricketer. But cricket has and continues to morph/to evolve since the days of Sir Gary Sobers and Viv Richards. Lots of shorter formats being introduced, hold lots of appeal for our younger players. And when it comes to our West Indies cricketers, in our global village, they can now develop their skills, and ply their skills @ choice to International cricket teams far-and-wide.

Our New World of Cricket

To survive and more so to thrive now in our ‘New World of Cricket’ there must be manager-player intimacy or into-me-see. Whether the cricketing manager of pro-league teams or the Executive of the West Indies cricket team, there must be a deeper look at what the cricketer of “today” is facing. How else could the Executive understand how to approach these players and more importantly to keep the appeal of playing for the West Indies.

And this intimacy is what the new West Indies Executive seems able to bring. We look forward!

Integration

Sure the player on the field is important. But cricket is bigger than the present-day players of any team. Cricket in any country is a system. Good systems are able to reproduce a service or product over the long-term. Too often this is what International teams hold over the Caribbean region. However, encouraging evidence comes as we notice ex-West Indies players being brought back to the fold to now support the team in a different capacity. There is also the declared promise (note the term ‘declared promise’) of putting a focus upon the youth in cricket. If in fact this does happen then what we would now be building is a better system around the game.

Implementation

But as with the cricketer, we do not simply want a ‘hope’ of runs, good fielding, bowling and batting but results, so too, with our Executive we look forward to the plans moving off the paper….so we wait and we look on…but for now the I’s definitely hold the key to a brighter future for West Indies crickethttps://www.telegraph.co.uk/cricket/2019/01/19/cricket-west-indies-expensive-business-passion-sport-still-exists/

Life coaching is a partnership between client and life coach to move toward making the desired outcome a reality. So how much is too much to pay to make your dreams come true? 

This is not a high-brand product that might eventually be renewed/replaced or repaired, this is a service that brings to you whatever ‘products’ or tangible outcomes you wish be it in an intimate relationship, a parent-child relationship, on the field in sports, at work, in a buisness… an outcome that would have an avalanche effect of bringing even more great results your way… in other words the rewards are invaluable

Imagine walking up to someone and having a conversation and then they agree with you, to keep working together until you get what you want once you keep your end of the bargain, and you already know you are prepared to keep your end of the bargain…is that not priceless really?

Well that is life coaching for you…so while $200CAD or $1000TTD might on the surface seem like a lot for one coaching session and a follow-up…really how much would you pay to make your desires a reality? http://www.karryonservices.com/coaching-services/

The many faces of Personality

Personality could be described in many ways, some call it charisma, others attitudes and behaviors. Personality in a broad sense is simply those qualities that endure, stand the test of time and lead to a pattern in the way we generally feel, think and operate or behave.

Interestingly enough, eventhough we understand that people have personalities, many of us do get into relationships either hoping or genuinely believing we could change our partners.

Does Personality Change?

From within the womb personality is developing, and that is very real since, our hormones, and genes contributes in some way to our personalities, our natural inclinations. And as we interact the personality is developing. It has been found that the basic structure or basic inclination of our personality, the foundation is formed by about 7 years.

But it does not stop there! Personality is a part of ourselves that is very much alive and constantly being changed in some way by our experiences. 

But what it might help to appreciate though, is that peronality is similar to building a house  its possible to make additions and general changes to the structure 

However eventhough we are able to make those adjustments we are working on a particular house, so some basic foundation aspects of the structure would always remain, also it is easier to make adjustments to some areas of the house than to other areas

but that is not all…another very important thing to recognize is that if the original builders of the house did ‘sloppy work’ that compromised the structure of the house to begin with then the basic structure would be faulty….this is a good way to understand how personality becomes disordered leading to lots of problems in relationships and sometimes the basic sturctural work is truly difficult if not near impossible to fully repair

Generally though for most of us, we are able to embrace our new experiences and sometimes without realizing it make slight or major changes to our personality overtime and/or we can choose to work on adjusting our structure bringing it closer to what we might desire

Therapy often could be a tool to help clear out blocks to making changes to how we would generally think, feel and behave http://www.karryonservices.com/therapy/