Moving you forward one step at a time

Brain operations are very technical

As a parent if your child need to undergo a brain operation, it could be quite nerve-wrecking because the brain is so important and because brain surgery is very technical.

Did you know as parents you operate on your children’s brain?

We think that brain operations require special tools and physically entering the brain. And that is true too.

There is another way to literally (no joke) operate on the brain and change how it works, change how the nerve impulses are firing or working and its through experiences, its through support and encouragement, its through relaxation techniques.

So are you preparing your child to conquer their World?

think #ent … empower neuron (nerve impulses) trigggers by;

providing experiences that promote a feeling of confidence and showing ways to self-soothe and calm down when disappointed or distressed

just these two simple approaches working together keeps empowering neuron triggers in a way to make your child more resilient…

Enjoy today’s operations! And keep those operations going!

It’s a simple question, in today’s World could you love yourself if you don’t love your shade?

Please read:

“Unless the question of colourism is addressed in our communities and definitely in our black “sisterhoods” we cannot, as a people, progress.” These were the words of Alice Walker, In Search Of Our Mother’s Garden: Womanist Prose. Walker is credited with coining the term “colourism”.

Mumbai Indians winning 4 Indian Premier League titles in 7 years. This team must be doing something right.

Rewarding Recruits 

This works both ways. MI definitely not (mission impossible) have made a habit of recruiting players who reward the team with their presence.

But that’s not all, the MI managers are also known to reward their recruits with great support in terms of available support staff and in terms of expressing confidence in its players.

So Mumbai stalwarts like Keiron Pollard, Jasprit Bumrah and Lasith Malinga understand along with others that the team is seriously seeking & supporting success (working the mental sport muscle)

Planning Plays

Mental preparedness is partly too in working with some game plan. And MI work with a 4 point plan (among others of course) this team keeps on board; a death over specialist, an opening batsman who could make that 500 runs, a mid-fielder basher and a ‘bipolar’ spinner (a bowler who could turn the ball both ways)

It’s clear then that MI could boast the psychological edge.

But Chennai Super Kings were in the IPL finals because this team got what it takes for sporting success

Kings rule

Chasing steady CSK played as Kings taking charge of the field and going after their goal, the commitment and sturdiness showing even as Shane Watson scoring 80 runs for CSK with bleeding knee (disclaimer: do not try this @ home).

YET this IPL showed an important truth about sports every second matters and your head, your mind-body must remain in the game every second. And so it was that MI keeping their focus and seeking success made that one ball work

Sporting success means mastering muscle and mind.

Internet Ablaze with Curry

Seems Ayesha Curry really ‘set it off’ for couples as well as singles … talking about;

  1. her husbands female fans
  2. her thinking “hmm would be nice to get some of that attention from men”

Discussions going from, these women cannot get enough, Ayesha is beautiful and gets attention, Steph Curry and Ayesha are childhood sweethearts, Steph supports his wife and on and on…

Turning to the remaining Curry

Let’s put this in context…

Steph Curry is a sportsman, an active attractive sportsman and that is where we really must begin .. because let’s be real as attractive as Steph is his appeal is a lot to do with him being a popular sportsman

And here is where sportspeople spouses would want Curry favour

The head of the sportsman is different

So we casually say we think with our heads, but we all know its really our brains.

Well guess what…sportspeople have specialized brains as do all people who tend to gravitate to certain things, just as musicians and artists

The sportsman head and what it means for relationships

Our brains are constantly moving chemicals through it, and certain chemicals create certain behaviors. Sportsmen, especially those doing well in their sport, are over time becoming more and more tuned in and by their actions training their brains and bodies to respond to dopamine. Dopamine receptors then over time become ready for that next release of dopamine within the brain and that high.

For this reason many sportsmen get into vices, and the easiest most thrilling is unfortunately infidelity…consider it almost an occupational hazard.

And for the record prettiness of the spouse can hardly compete with that longing for the dopamine rush

Curry Favour for Dopamine Dilemma

Continuing Commitment

It’s not about sportsmen not loving their wives, it’s about the ability to continue commitment to not cheat when the dopamine on the brain creates that longing for the high of the dopamine… (which comes from the thrill of daring and challenging cheating)

So Curry favor of continuing commitment is something sports couples cannot take for granted

United Understanding

Steph obviously appreciated Ayesha’s need to build something of her own and what many commenting on the internet are not saying is that for years Ayesha was and has been understanding of female fans being part of the territory

Real Relationship

As mentioned earlier, Ayesha and Curry are childhood sweethearts and it matters. At least Steph knows that his appeal from Ayesha goes way beyond his $$$$ in other words they were able to build something Real before the sports mania female fans.

Sportsmen would want to take time if/when, meeting someone ‘after-the-fact’ to find ways to determine what exactly is making them so appealing

Yearning Yonder

Yes the internet is ablaze now with some comments and so but let’s consider what was and was not said…

Yearning for attention to feel ‘I still got it’ in no way suggests yearning to go free from your spouse…and what many are not saying is that Ayesha still looks forward yonder toward her relationship with Steph and likewise with all the female fans Steph continues to show Ayesha is still the 1

Some Curry favor surely would do more sports couples good even if the woman longs for some more attention now and again

To some of you parents it might be (alright please, not again). But for many of our children its worth it…

so again what are some other ways to check in or out that your child is being prepared to conquer their World.

Overprotection reaps resistance

As mentioned in an earlier post in this Series, openness to experience and curiosity is all part of being a developing child (hopefully we keep some of it as adults too)

For some children though, everything is all well and good, the openness is there once it is something that was done with parents or within the home… so in other words the child goes out into the school environment partly prepared to benefit from school because their mindset is …

“this is good once it was done before or something like it was done before with the parents” (and we are not talking here about religious restrictions or beliefs)

for example, Johnny is asked to move his hand in square-like motion looking at the drawing of the square (odd request we agree) but the exercise has a purpose … however Johnny gets in a panic and refuses because “you don’t move your hand like a square, you move it in circles, his parents taught him that…. get the point …

While as parents its important to protect and guide its as important to make room for responsible and safe others (such as teachers, coaches etc.) to be able to teach new things which the kids then can take pleasure in teaching parents

Recover & Resilience…good balance

Now take Johnny again but coming from a more balanced experience… he is asked to move his hands in a square-like motion … being new to him, and being guided by his parents that its natural to move his hands in a circle, and being trained to trust his parents…Johnny pauses and wonders about the request… since his parents also communicated to him that he would meet new and sometimes challenging experiences (a lot of which he could handle with a little effort) he giggles and tries …. that is recovery (coming back from the shock of an unexpected request) and resilience (being able to move forward) … Johnny eventually learned the purpose of the exercise and feels proud of himself for trying

So how do we get there as parents?

Once children understand the needful in terms of warning signs for if/when an adult is hurting them and what to do.. . then its safe to help them to appreciate how other adults become part of their ‘team’ to help them grow and develop

But truth be told some as parents it is we who sometimes need to work a bit more on being able to trust enough to do so.

There are a few popular team sayings, two being;

Together Each Achieves More and

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.” – Edward Hale

2012 Bronze and 2019 Gold

And success this team truly enjoyed. Noteworthy too their commitment in pursuing excellence they were able to better their best from 2012 

so as Robertson Davies says; “in the end, it is upon the quality and commitment of individuals that all group moments depend” and listening to each team player, we realize they were all in.

Even so…must make special mention of Cedeno and his…

Coming From Behind

What does it take for an athlete to come from behind?

At that point no doubt it went beyond the technical training and to zoning into a purposeful and positive mindset (wanting that gold) but even so what’s more is getting mind-body to work at it absolute optimum, not just the mind believing but the body following to make the belief real…we could imagine Cedeno then almost in a hypnotic state (the high coming from the adrenaline surging through) and giving that boost to make it happen. to the team for coming together, staying together and working together and for Cedeno doing the needful for coming from behind!

Becoming a single mom through circumstances or choosing to be a single mom is entering a very unique type of parenting experience….

But where does or did the idea of the need for the ‘strong single mom’ come about, especially true within the Caribbean community

Picture of our ‘strong single mom’

Before going further, let’s make sure we are looking at the same picture. ‘Strong single mom’ … she is the lady who does it all, she bears it all silently, surviving by all means (for some even any means) necessary, she does her part and that of the other partner too, some might say she is a picture of a large section of the ‘modern-day woman’ … Watch her roar!

‘Strong single mom’ dilemma

Many modern day women do not talk much about it, because after all, we women come so far, made so much progress, and now the subtle and sometimes not so subtle mantra is, “we can do whatever men can do”

Now hear this… even outside of the single mom, when moms are coupled the research shows that modern-day women are bearing strain since household duties, as well as other gender-expectations remain in addition to working outside the home, so many women are bearing much ‘strain’ and looking quite good doing it too even when partnered.

Mother’s Day gift to ‘strong single moms’ … BOSS up!

Boost Selfcare

As a single mom, it means it is even more important that you be there for your child(ren). They need you literally. Often this is what pushes many ‘strong single moms’ to become ‘strong single moms’ as they keep thinking “I’m doing this for my kids” but let’s take a moment to pause and put first things first… your children need and want you around as long as possible…so it’s more important than ever single moms to become boss @ self-care

Operate @s @ CEO

Single moms in many ways are the CEO @home. And what makes for a strong organization, isn’t it a good CEO? And basically, the CEO takes a broad-look @ what’s happening and plans for 3-5 years in advance. Far too often in my office,  moms are there who are dealin with 

what came up all the while they were busying being a ‘single strong mom’ making sure the kids got it all, but missing some really important things….

CEO can always adjust their style…so the single mom as CEO, looks around @t her household those she holds responsibility for and considers what needs would come up and begins putting things in place by making key choices in terms of the people, places, resources she introduces or exposes them to, to help them develop into their best selves (real CEO business)

Seek Striving over Surviving

Being real though many ‘strong single moms’ find it easier to remain as ‘strong single moms’ because they are caught up in ‘surviving’ in other words anxiety rules the day, the work of a parent is never done, just imagine then for a single mom. Ironically that is the reason why moms who are operating as single moms, need more than ever to manage anxiety by learning and using stress-busting activities and instead of living in anxisty (which is actually stressing over the future) take time outs to watch possible future possibilities and plan for it (CEO action)

Share struggles sometimes

Gonna take the time to share something, met a few ‘strong single moms’ and it’s clear they could handle it! But in the day-to-day moments its easy to forget to remember as a single mom that “you can and you would handle it” … the thing is that ‘strong single mom” status can often be a very lonely place especially since many create an even tighter barrier between parent-and-child.

But whatever the circumstances or reasons for the ‘strong single mom’ status, remember the child(ren) are being impacted to, and so sometimes selectively sharing struggles can actually open up the communication lines and allow for information-sharing that could be very beneficial (sort of like when the CEO asks staff for suggestions) and more than that it creates bonding within the household and helps all to empathize with each other and be more willing to work together

To all the ‘strong single moms’ out hope this blog comes as a real-time gift that lasts long beyond Mother’s Day 2019…BOSS up!

Hastag #goat it’s all around now. Sure it is meant to be a compliment, #goat = Greatest Of All Time! But did no one consider that Great-est is the superlative of its great great-er and great-est…

Now for the million dollar question….??? How many #goats can there be (look back at the hint ‘s’)

As a sportsman if you aim to become a goat, then your standard was set by those gone before, but how much does that do for the sport, or how much might the sportsman (sportsman or sportswoman) might also be underestimating their potential.

Lara a true Cricketing BULL

What Brian Charles Lara did in his cricketing career was





#bull and when a sportsman seeks to be a true #bull what does it mean….

Bettering your Best

Lara spent time studying the great or maybe some #goats and he honed his talents in that way he was able to break records held by others and even those held by himself …when this approach is taken then the heights of the sport knows no limits

Understand the sport

#goat might play the sport and master playing of the sport but a bull, is patient and understands his sport, learning its history and what the sport means for himself and others, this might be why Lara is within the phasing out of cricketers who truly appreciated the significance of the test match…while also valuing the short format…today many of our young cricketing #goats while a long way into their careers are yet to master the test aspect of the game

Leaving Legacy

“It’s all about the journey, not the outcome” ~ Carl Lewis

As we know Lara had his ups and downs with the game of cricket, with some questioning his captaincy a certain points. Yet when we look back over his cricketing journey, generally there is agreement that he brought something to the game and made an imprint and that is the mark of the #bull…to stand the test of time

Going forward we do look on in anticipation of the upcoming cricketers getting the guide to put their game into perspective and context and to work beyond ‘cheap knocks’ but instead aim to leave their unique mark upon the sport like a true #bull or as the singing cricketer djbravo put it become a real champion

Whether its Royal Baby Archie 

or an ‘everyday biracial couple’ giving birth, there remains a certain amount of subtle and at times not so subtle, privilege and or pride that comes with that approximation to ‘whiteness’

Diluted Blue Blood

Yet for the mixed race person this ‘blue blood’ aka ‘white privilege’ is an interesting irony with much subtle and at times not so subtle stress and tension surrounding it. Interestingly enough this everyday experience is somewhat mirrored even as it was decided that Royal baby Archie 

would not be given a title at this time.

Yet we would agree that Royal baby Archie is no ‘ordinary’ baby

Similarly being born of mixed race is a unique experience sort of like being ‘born grey’; a hybrid

Hybrid Hurts

Even as bi-racial couples celebrate their love child/children, there are some social realities that are often neglected. RACE IS a social construct and being ‘born grey’ as it were means that the biracial child comes into a push-pull or love/hate or bi-polar sort of expereince depending on the social environment they would find themselves in.

Today they might be admired and tomorrow they might be resented or vice versa, all based on the environment they find themselves in

Great Greyhound Approach

For the biracial or mixed race person or child then, there is the need to;

M-Master their own self-concept…because the World and society might say one thing today and another tomorrow, it becomes more important than ever for that child, the person to decide how he/she wishes to identify racially and by ethnicity (and the two do not need be the same) and stick to it

I-but even so it would be important to find a way to integrate what society says and who society says so that their self-concept which they choose for themselves remains grounded in reality..for example; “I know people might think of me as…but I prefer to ….” a great example was Tiger Woods invented word

X- x-men concept, holding an appreciation for being a sort of ‘x-men’ in a World where many esteem themselves based on racial identity can also help persons of mixed race to embrace self-acceptance and remain grounded in being just that ‘mixed’ reducing the pressure to overly-identify with any one race over the other

E-exploring emotions and expressing emotions in a safe way and space also becomes important especially if or when hidden feelings arise with varied treatments met out to biracial children from the same family because of their appearance

D-Develop diversity appreciation, being ‘born grey’ is evidence of diversity working together for good and one of the greatest gifts a mixed race person might eventually give to self is respecting even diversity of views on race and race relations and in there deciding and respecting what there own views would be  

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As we grow we imagine how life would be, especially as a teen. Well as a teen things took an unexpected turn. Exam results were in, not the best results…

Unexpected twists & turns

It meant for me, not moving along with friends @ that time into College/University but going off to work and study part-time to eventually enter College/University @ a later date.

As a teen, it was nothing short of terribly devastating (and if you recall teen years or are parenting a teen, you really know what that means)

Meeting Mr. Wright

Then the day came, walking into the interview room to screen for the start of my ‘short-term’ “career” as a teacher. Looking around the room, thinking of my friends, this ‘new life’ and then this kind-eyed short Teddy-looking man asks the question, “what makes you want to become a teacher?” “ha! I thought, because right now I need to…” but then his eyes were so kind, his way was so patient that I found myself searching myself and replied “I really love children and enjoy supporting their development” (remember thinking wow, never knew that…just learnt something about myself, ‘this man must be a real teacher’) then he asked, “what makes you think, being so little, with many of the children being bigger than you that they would ‘respect you’?” … (respect…again never thought of that) but responded “because I might be little but I can handle myself” and he laughed we both did.

Teacher Wright

Yesterday was the Memorial Service for Mr. Wright. Mr. Wright would always be remembered as the teacher who in a sense ‘saved me’ (seems strong a word) but yes saved me and gave guidance. Without him realizing it, he helped bring cheer to a moment when things felt depressing, he helped me find my passion (working with young people, supporting human development), he helped me very early in my career to appreciate that if there is no respect, there can be no enduring genuine professional relationship, ironically he was like a #lifecoach pointing me in the direction of my future, helping me find my ‘True North’ my calling all when life seemed off cours…e!

Today as an educator, trained therapist, certified life coach, and psychologist-in-training ultimately the aim is to support others to their ‘True North’ and finding their ‘right’ direction

P.S. Also remembering a past co-worker Mr. Howe