Moving you forward one step at a time

True Story; 

Sitting with this young female client, early 20s, she talks about the different stresses and trying to keep up with her studies, sometimes feeling anxious, but then after a “yuh know” a good smoke “nah not cigarette, don’t deal with that … “marijuana feel so relaxed” but then after it a bit hard to focus and study”

What really would it mean to legalize marijuana? At what age did most start smoking? … https://thecaribbeancurrent.com/caribbean-dilemma-marijuana-medicine-mental-health-approving-a-good-green-herb-or-agatewaydrug/

The ‘little magician’ they called him, this Trinbagonian ‘midget midfielder’ who created plays using his smarts in midfield; Russell Latapy. And now he is serving the game as a coach to the Trinidad and Tobago U20 Footballers. Could that be why? why there might be an expectation of …

Sports Producing Actually Magicians!

All of the young men in the U20 T&T Team must have had that desire and include some sort of self-discipline for the players to reach this level https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS8h-Z42-4A

And well after THE LOSS of the game to the USA and watching their chances move away for the bid for another Worldcup, the ‘magician’ coach commented on how goal 6, could have been avoided, with a little more wit from the guys in midfield https://wired868.com/2018/11/06/latapy-usa-were-too-much-for-underprepared-tt-team-but-its-a-learning-experience/ so we already know that there is no way for this ‘magician mid-fielder coach’ to transfer his ‘magic’ to all his players for them to do the same in midfield. Of course, because each player brings their own uniques skill and traits.

But seems T&T is calling for a different sort of magic???

We have heard that the ‘family that prays together, stays together’… well what about the team that plays together stays together …

Sports Performance …

includes skill and talent [x]

includes internal motivation [ x]

includes autonomy (some measure of control)

includes personal accountability,  assertiveness, sensitivity to feedback (which the coach reports his players as having),

includes the ability to stress manage or control the tension 

includes confidence

Now when a coach claims a team in underprepared and not of the team’s doing, what kind of Sports Psychology is taking place there?

  • It means the external environment is decreasing internal motivation
  • It means the structure around the players is reducing competence and confidence
  • It means the physical, financial and other resources are frustrating resourcefulness

It means that the sporting players are actual magicians if they can overcome that all on an ongoing basis and outperform teams who have and are making use of the support and resources around, like having 5 camps to support performance in a game!

Yet when a journalist laid blame at the feet of a League not waiving registration fees to allow the team to play and thus improve skills … the general focus went to

blaming who? … but the bigger point is/was/remains…

countries with serious sports producing actual magic…

find ways to put things in place to support players in developing their skills and preparing for games/leagues/tournaments

seems though the sort of magic that might be the focus for the T&T players is that kind where we say…

abra cadarba and find things appear from nothing!

It has not happened! It would not happen…because

sports produces practicals …. real day to day things that must be attended to and implemented to support the players and the game beyond mouth praise and tongue-lashing criticisms

and  makes magic …. when sportspersons and systems, systems beyond getting a coach, work together to produce desired performances

;;;;;;;;; so seems it is and would be a tough carry=on for T&T players as long as the mindset remains ah come on, please… go out there and

Start Producing Actual MAGIC!

Within all societies there are groups and within those groups there are sub-groups. One of the popular forms of grouping in society is race, colour and ethnicity and gender. 

Research clearly shows that male gender is given superior status to female gender and light skin to dark skin…

So how do dark-skin females manage self-esteem within such a global society? Anyone saw dreamgirls recently (much love to Beyonce and all the actresses) but seriously, well many live the dynamics in that movie daily…

Easy to understand then when ‘Spice’ says she has a dream;

It means that the more melanin present for a female, the more that female needs a song of empowerment to sing, while embracing her sister with the less melanin…

“That which we cannot face we cannot change”

A dynamic in psychology is where the victim identifies with the persecutor, and seems this is what the song is highlighting how those labeled ‘black’ have identified so much with the ‘white oppressive’ views that there is in-group discrimination which interestingly means there is no real genuine solid self-love even for those with a lighter shade…

So what do we do to break free from such views that hurt and do NOT EMPOWER;

Maybe there is no good way to be moved from a person with an ethnic heritage to a mere colour!

Life is like a long distance race with an obstacle course

Life is a game

Bringing it both together and we get a Marathon

Sex and Power Struggles

All sexual encounters involve power. In a healthy sexual encounter, there is respect for the power to attract, arouse, produce pleasure and pain, the power to give and refuse permission

In unhealthy forced sexual encounters, one or more persons are determined to force and subdue another through their using their power…

Sporting Power

So when Hannah made that decision to pick herself up by her crutches and run and run and run and run for miles and miles it is a deep message she delivered to the very fiber of her being and to life in general and to those dealing with life’s obstacles in whatever form …

She was taking her power back one run at a time…

power…simply that ability to do something and

did it she did much to the surprise of many!!!!!!!!!!! https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6354553/Woman-25-paralyzed-trying-escape-sex-attacker-finishes-New-York-City-marathon-crutches.html

………………………

We all have our own unique marathon with its unique obstacles and unlike Hannah, many are not physically paralyzed but psychologically paralyzed by refusing to do what we have to (remember Hannah had to train and train hard) to pick ourselves up and continue running our marathon

…..

New day! Give thanks! and keep going

Recently floods devoured belongings in many homes in the Caribbean isle of Trinidad & Tobago. Today November 6, 2018, Hindus in this country celebrate Divali…

Depressing Divali?

A popular festival in Hinduism, Diwali/Divali symbolizes “victory of light over darkness, good over evil and knowledge over ignorance.

The festival usually involves cleaning of homes and lighting deyas  in preparation for the blessings of  wealth and prosperity

So it is easy to become depressed … as a Hindu hit by flash flooding looks around and ironically notices less material possessions due to the destruction from flash flooding

The Hindu Devotee can easily long for their old belongings that made up part of their wealth/possessions in the past before the floods came  …

Time for a Divali Deep Dive

It is then that that Hindu devotee would need to really think deeply about what Divali represents and swim through depressing thoughts and dive into a … new mindset more in keeping with what Divali symbolizes



Delightful Divali

Delightful=pleasing

On Divali Hindus have a focus on the confidence that there is a spiritual Universe energy that would ensure…

light/darkness

goodness/evil

Flash flooding brought dark times and it could easily be experienced as a sort of environmental evil with such devastating destruction

But even for the Hindu devotee who looks an observes their lost possessions… as the deyas are lit, or thoughts of how they would have …

cleaned up as best as they good…they could notice how much more room and space there is for new possessions…new wealth and future prosperity

and a calm can come about even as it is difficult rebuilding after the flash flooding, because of the confidence the Hindu devotee would have especially it being Divali, that things would get better as

light overcomes darkness

goodness overcomes evil

———————————–

Clay Deyas…hint hint

deyas are a part of the Hindu festival …guess what deyas are made from = clay. … guess where the clay comes from = no not Mother Laskhmi but Mother Earth

All Mothers worthy of honour…

Maybe as the Hindus on this Divali celebrate and invite Mother Lasskmi for blessings of wealth and prosperity another Mother would come to mind since the floods would have made it obvious that this mother, Mother Earth also impacts our belongings and possessions… and so many Hindus might also become

#gogreen devotees 

Each day we are either becoming saner or less sane!

Mental health is along a continuum.

So how do we live like a B.O.S.S.?  

  • First- Becoming Our Sanest Self means being a SHARING Self

What that means, is that we share our thoughts and our feelings, opinions in a respectful way. Once we begin suppressing our true thoughts, that thought those thoughts unexpressed keep looking for a way to express themselves (it really is not an accident that we discover lots of people who have gone insane … talking to and answering themselves). When we keep our thoughts inside they torture us and might find expression in people we create in our minds (schizophrenia) or be denied because we might be afraid of what people think if we really express ourselves (panic attacks)

  • Second-Becoming Our Sanest Self  means accepting how we feel no matter what others think about it or how they feel about it

Feelings unexpressed or denied would surface again sometimes in ways that harm ourselves or others (poor anger management), for example, the child who constantly denies their feelings to make their parents feel better becomes the teen who cuts themselves to ease emotional pain (self-harm) and often also the person who learns to not express what they feel in relationships, often has relationships regrets fro the past which then contributes to feelings of self-rejection and much more contributing to (depression in one form or another, clinical or bi-polar)

So it is the first day of work for many of a new week …how much of a B.O.S.S. day would you allow yourself to have?

@t karryon we support all ready to be their own B.O.S.S. 

with our service https://karryon.privacemail.com/

and with our STYLE!

Sports Performance

One of the things that make sports so demanding is the way it immediately connects the sportsperson’s skills and performance to the results and it all happening before an audience (unlike many other fields)

Another is the fact that the off-field life for sportspersons continue as usual and no matter what is happening the sportspersons are expected to not only carry on but to carry out their objective of excellent performance

So what happens when Sports Persons Are Mourning? 

This is exactly the question that Leicester City club answered for us recently https://edition.cnn.com/2018/11/03/football/leicester-city-vichai-srivaddhanaprabha-first-game/index.html

The grieving process involves denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance…

The Game Goes On! So …

Denial is a no-go at least not to the point where all the reminders of what happened could be avoided…and that’s part of the harsh reality of sports … sportspersons do not have the luxury of avoiding what is happening on the field generally and its the same here … the Leicester City team whether they could believe it or not…would have been moved along the grieving process to face their anger  …

Anger, Aggression and Sports

The good thing here is that as mentioned early sports is about using that energy/arousal/adrenaline to give the best possible performance…and the good thing for the Leicester City team in their time of mourning is that that anger could have been redirected to create a connection with their deceased owner and so even begin in a way a celebration of his life and so help move the team along to acceptance

No change for bargains 

In sports, there is no bargaining without performance. And it would have been the same for this team here, they had no chance to bargain and plea their cause…”please save our beloved club owner’ … it was about performing even in his memory

Sporting as an anti-depressant

Sometimes persons going through the mourning process are misdiagnosed as clinically depressed if the psychologist is unaware of the loss. Sports literally changes our body chemistry by releasing these feel-good hormones. So even if the players have their moments of ‘longing for the past’ (a part of depression) they would not have been able to get stuck there.

Sports is Universal

Groups are powerful. And so too group therapy is powerful, all because the persons realize they are not alone and other persons have felt this and are going through it too. So even playing that game after the loss would have been a sort of group therapy for the team.

Virtue in Sports

Dealing with a loss is a part of life and living. It can happen in any field. The great thing is there are lots of virtue in sports that can help ease the pain and lead o healing, recovery, and celebration of the life lived.

Do look forward to the legacy being carried on in Leicester City https://www.theguardian.com/football/leicestercity 

@and @t KarryOn we support sportspersons to carryon @ https://karryon.privacemail.com/

So in the Caribbean it finally happened, we got a singing cricketer in DJ Bravo…surprising? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT8cLYrJwwQ

What do Sport and Music have in common?

Energy: sport and music bring with it a certain energy and that really comes from the adrenaline that both give not only to the player/performer but to those enjoying the game/performance

Lyrics: YES! in music it is obvious what the singer is saying and the story they are sharing. In sports what the sportsman or sportswoman is saying to themselves and the story, they are telling themselves only becomes obvious in how they are performing. And this is what DJ Bravo did, simply but a melody and rhythm to what the sports professionals do on the field whether they realize it or not …

Selection: When the musician goes to record they must choose between different songs, melodies and ways of singing their song. Same it is as the sports professional prepares himself/herself for selection for certain tournaments and/or decides to play with one club/in one tournament or another… https://wired868.com/2018/10/24/walk-like-a-champion-dj-bravo-announces-retirement-from-west-indies-cricket/

Play On: Music or sports we play on and the game continues

and while play continues we are right here to support how the musician or sports professional alike carry on @ https://karryon.privacemail.com/ #lifecoaching and/or #therapy

 

 

So do you? Well, this child sure did and he told ‘The Mighty Shadow’ his reason why…

he said even though the songs were non-sense people were liking the non-sense music…so the child made sense of it; that is must be Obeah…

Making Sense of Our World 

We all need to make sense of our World and we do that by coming up with our own reasoning and theories… and we are free to choose any reasoning we like…Obeah could be one of them…

Making Sense when things seem odd/strange

There are some things that do seem oddly strange…

so Dr. Winston Bailey a Trinbagonian calypsonian recently passed, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r4-7EgYuewwas faith would have it another Trinbagonian calypsonian Winston Scarborough ‘The Original De Fosto Himself’ NOT only attends his funeral service but performed singing about meeting the obeah… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WleoW3eg96o 

Mind over Matter or Matter over Mind

Whatever we choose to believe would make us:

choose the thoughts we pay attention,

result in the type of emotional energy we generate if/when anything comes up that we explain using this ‘obeah’ reasoning,

lead to our mind causing us to search out things that prove us right…and so our mind on our reasoning in this case ‘obeah’ leads to us literally discovering matter (actual evidence to support what we have in our mind)

Does it matter?

Really we are all free to choose our reasoning for odd events. The only question is “how is that reasoning working for us?” if it is working for us then great, but if it is not…the good news is that it is a case of mind over matter where we can change our mind and consider different reasons to explain what happened and so experience new emotions and choose new behaviors and find other evidence to support different explanations…

but for those of us who think ‘obeah’ can make luck in our love relationships…well guess we would consider what Georgie does as a good move to improve our relationships;

For those with a different explanation on the relationship challenges, there are other options…

 

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Imagine the child who for one reason or the next is deprived of that parental care and attention that is so much needed for one reason or the other … and so has the need for support from an established institutionhttps://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/5-facts-about-orphans what sort of songs would this child begin to sing…

One such child was The Original De Fosto Himself… and often within the songs was that noticeable beat of #hardships #overcoming #oppression #courage #sufferage #struggle #socialjustice #discrimination #encouragement #willtosurvive

and this is understandable given the journey of such a child to adulthood…

but often these songs come when the ‘orphan’ is at an earlier point in his journey…

Later in the ‘orphan’ journey

The ‘orphan’ comes to realize that #struggle #hardships and #overcoming are not only the exclusive territory of the ‘orphan’ but of all of mankind… and so the ‘orphan’ sings more songs of #prosperity #progress #courage and #empowerment …

https://www.newgrowthhair.com/2015/02/power-networking-with-george-fraser/

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