Moving you forward one step at a time

LIFE is Precious … a precious experience a gift … could you imagine giving someone a precious gift exactly what you knew they would love and they expressed love for it and then made a decision to destroy the gift that was so very precious to them  …. would you be hasty to get angry at their ingratitude? or would you look at them differently because of what they have done? What if you were to be curious and simply try to explore the heart of the matter:

While enjoying one of my therapies massage therapy … a real stress-busting health-promoting  experience, overheard a mention of the Para-Olympics. Must confess that this was my introduction to it, and my first thought was just how much we could learn from these athletes;

Life Sports
Life Sports

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My second thought was of today being World Suicide Prevention Day and how many might not be aware of para-suicide. 

TO SUICIDE is to kill off the self …..

When a child is not provided the opportunity to respectfully express their opinion …. what is happening there to that developing SELF?

When persons are silenced as a result of abuse threats or otherwise …. what is happening bit by bit to that person’s sense of SELF?

When a developing young adult gives in to the wishes of parents with decisions that could have been theirs … what is happening to the identifiable SELF of that young person?

When a person feels compelled to hide their orientation as a result of social pressures and conform to expectations … what is happening to the true SELF of that person?

Just a few considerations …. but what if we go a step further … over time if such situations continue …

What happens if one day the person suddenly realizes what has been happening? How do you think they might feel? Angry Depressed Resentful maybe …. 

What happens if they try to suppress it and then someone or something causes it to register … What sort of feelings might surface then? Hurt Anxiety Restlessness maybe ….

What if the emotions experienced become unbearable? …

WHAT NOW?????????????????????????????????????????

Suicide is more prevalent than we might want to admit …. yet NOTHING happens overnight …. and while there must be the acknowledgment of real identifiable mental health issues beneath a Suicide …. THE FOREST IS SAVED WHEN WE CONSIDER THE TREES …. 

Are there ways in which you have committed or are committing para-suicide?

Might you be contributing to someone else committing para-suicide?

Maybe together we might begin to save the forest by checking on some trees that are familiar to us. Prevent PARA-suicide today …

SUPPORT YOUR-SELF  

SUPPORT ANOTHER-SELF 

TO BE TRUE TO SELF ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          

The ability to move grow and develop is one that is BASIC TO LIVING THINGS. As we master this we find that LIFE is a series of PROGRESSIVE MOVEMENTS. 

YET sometimes we are able to progressively move until meeting upon some unexpected O—B—S—T—A—-C—L—-E—– /////// for some of us when this happens there //////////////WE/////////////

are remaining stagnant and stationary BANGING our head against that proverbial brick wall as we insist on continuing as we have before.

It's in your hands!
It’s in your hands!

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YET the answer is there the answer is simple. INNOVATION!

Innovation MIGHT mean creating something new, considering a new perspective, embracing other parts of ourselves, trying out a new skill, finding a more efficient means of getting the job done.

Innovation allows us to discover new territory, it allows us options and opportunities to move forward.

Why then don’t more of us choose INNOVATION?

INNOVATION might be experienced as scary as disturbing a feeling of balance ….

YET how else are we to experience the new gains? What happens if we choose not to innovate? How long will we be able to maintain our well-being in a stagnant state?

 INNOVATION  definitely is a choice. INNOVATION is a choice that sets us free to  move grow and develop. We have the choice to not choose INNOVATION just as we have a choice to remain free flexible and fulfilled in LIFE as much as it in in our hands.

SOME  SAY innovation IS freedom. What SAY you?

      

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SEX SELLS!!!!!!! 

One of the most memorable interactions that really emphasized just how much the above statement is true was the look of a combination of amusement and genuine frustration on the face of a teen as she commented ‘adults tell us to not be hurry for sexual relations yet SEX IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!

WE OPENLY AND COVERTLY USE SEX TO SELL PRODUCTS

WE HAVE CREATED MANY AN-INDUSTRY PROVIDING SEXUAL RELATED PRODUCTS AND SERVICES

YET  FEW OF US CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO ENTER THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE 

What is  THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE ?

A sexual relationship is one of the most intense intimate relationships we can choose to enter because of this sexual relations have the potential for us to learn about ourselves and our views on love and loving in general it has the potential for us to come face to face with our fears of getting close and with our feelings of worthiness it is that if each partner enters the sexual experience openly honestly fully non-defensively then THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE is created and each grows and develops and the relationship grows and develops and the SEX cannot help but get BETTER AND BETTER WITH TIME.

BUT WHAT HAPPENS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT:

SEXUAL POLITICS ……. THIS IS OBSERVED IN COMMENTS such as suggested that ‘a partner is unable to satisfy another partner’ or by some who are unable to separate their perception of their partner from their sexual relations hence there is the case of the separation of women into ‘the circumspect wife’ and ‘the street whore’ where the perceived characteristics of each can never be reconciled in a partner’s mind and so such a partner find themselves tending to move toward a type of woman for his life partner and another for his mistress.  SUCH  DYNAMICS PREVENT THE COUPLE FROM EVER ENTERING THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE AS ATTEMPTS ARE MADE TO MAINTAIN THE STATUS QUO.

“Partners who demand change in the sexual arena while simultaneously demanding status quo in other dimensions usually manifest resistance as progress occurs.” ~ CONSTRUCTING the SEXUAL CRUCIBLE by David Schnarch    Thus the partner may suddenly act out sexually or non-sexually if their partner continues to challenge his or her perceptions …..

So in this age where one of the ways in which   SEX IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! is through this tendency now for persons to use sex-cam for the filming and recording of sexual relations and unfortunately at times using such to get back at an ex by sharing it via social media why don’t we discover a new and better sex-cam …

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SEX-CAM

Could it possibly be that if more and more of us were to develop THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SEX-CAM in our relationships by doing a couple debrief after sexual relations at a time or periods chosen by the couple …. or by each reflecting on what is happening or not happening in sexual relations and entering open honest discussions in a respectful caring way with their partner … or by an individual observing their own sexual patterns whether in one specific relationship or during their sexual relations in general …. could you imagine what that would be like for the couple? could you imagine what that would mean for the sexual life of a couple? and more importantly could you imagine what that would mean for our understanding of sex?

So as we continue with a societal culture where  SEX SELLS!!!!!!!  where SEX IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!! where …. SEX IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!  through this tendency now for persons to use sex-cam for the filming and recording of sexual relations and unfortunately at times using such to get back at an ex by sharing it via social media  might be worth it to remember that there is still much VIRGIN TERRITORY …. there is a lot of wayS in which we might be SELLING OURSELVES SHORT WHERE SEX IS CONCERNED and there is a place with SEX WHERE MANY OF US DARE NOT TO GO …. SO why not enter  THE SEXUAL CRUCIBLE try it you might like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UN-explored SEXUAL Territory
UN-explored SEXUAL Territory

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On September 8 annually there is the Celebration of International Literacy Day. Literacy is the ability to read and write.  

How do we READ our lives? 

Each day we are writing our story, as we look over the days and years gone by, whatever understanding we bring to of that period in our lives and those experiences, will ULTIMATELY DETERMINE  how we chart our course in the future. 

Player remember it is you to C.reate D.estiny ... use your C.D. well!
Player remember it is you to C.reate D.estiny … use your C.D. well!

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Are we READING our lives?   

With the advent and popularity of social media and reality TV-Shows many are taken with watching the lives of others. So much so might even feel as if they are a part of and known to the personas in the reality TV-Shows.

As the pace of life picks up, many are rushing through their lives, just operating on automatic pilot. Hardly even noticing what might be happening, how their life story might be developing.

Question stands then  “are we reading our lives?” or are we living life illiterately?  

What is our stimulation for WRITING our lives?

So  the pen is in your hand and you sit to continue composing your life’s story … you here suggestions from family and friends … you look around at peers and observe how their life story is going … now you watch that pen in your hand … what or who are really writing the next Chapter, the next Paragraph … the next Sentence … the next Word … if it is filled with suggestions of others or if it is filled with “keeping up with Jones’s’ ”  … what are you then … are you a puppet writing of your life story … and if so … how satisfied are you with the form the story is taking …. one day whatever is written will be read … like a literature book … what Genres will it fall into … it is while we WRITE that we decide how our lives will eventually READ.  

You design your life!
You design your life!

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So as we celebrate yet another International Literacy Day how about we truly embrace and value the opportunity given to us all to READ our PAST and WRITE our FUTURE!!!

Craft your BEST Life Story
Craft your BEST Life Story

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As a mental health professional you become an advocate for certain things, it is usually because in a very real way you hear see and feel the effects of certain things, one such thing that is true for KarryOn is ABUSE in all its different forms

There is an ‘Ostrich Effect’ for many of us where ABUSE is concerned yet day after day children are being burdened with “the secret” that hurts ….

Apart from the “Ostrich Effect” of Sexual Abuse, with the advent of technology there seems to be another form of Abuse that goes across the age span. While we are very aware that it happens, when in fact it does again there is that “Ostrich Effect”

Molestation is defined as assaulting someone sexually but it is also defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as “ pestering or harassing someone in a hostile way ”  Is this not cyber-bullying? Is this not bullying? Is this not harassment? So it would seem that with time and technology while still trying to manage one form of molestation we have ushered in another.

Unlike the type that is more common with little children, the second Harassment As Molestation aka Bullying might affect ANYONE OF US IN ANY SOCIAL STANDING AT ANY TIME IN OUR LIVES might be something to think about whether you are enjoying the sand or have your head above the sand and continue to speak out. 

   

  

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