Moving you forward one step at a time

abuse by proxy

  1. Now can you make a connection between the picture and the title of the blog? for most of us, it’s a clear no…
  2. Well, how do so many people make a connection between themselves and getting another person to change? Can we really change an person? But often what these ladies and some men too say, is they can ‘fix’ the person, love them to become the person they notice when they look at them, love them into healing…
  3. But know this … change must come from a willingness within the person and some never will feel a need to change 
  4. So we go along hoping to fix the other person

6. In ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS… Trying to change another TO “FIX” them, is like trying to speak another language that the other person would never understand… because
7. Often in these relationships, the abuser plays on their partner’s dedication and desire to build a happy home by promising to change… but true change comes from within and often unfortunately many who abuse (not all) are resistant to change

**** so to all the fixer-uppers*** people are not things and the flip side of abuse sometimes is that the partner who desires to fix needs to let go or change or flip that whole idea to even begin to open the door to deal with the domestic violence***

So what’s trending these days ….another case of men and women who suffer from P M S….




Who are our recent examples of person with PMS?


What are the symptoms of PMS?

  1. This type of PMS has a starter and a finisher…for the starter the symptoms includes the belief that his/her position of authority and or influence aka POWER when combined with his/her MONEY gives him/her an entitlement to behave as regards to SEX  relations with another or others, however they might like without any regard for the feelings, thoughts or impact on their finisher. For the finisher the symptoms include a mild, moderate or severe feeling of helplessness and hopelessness when considering the alternative of not agreeing to the SEX relations in light of the MONEY and POWER which the starter possesses.
  2. The starter walks around thinking of himself/herself as untouchable due to his/her dynamic trio of POWER MONEY & SEX and continues to seek out prey at their fancy.
  3. The finisher walks around feeling jilted and cheated by life and either learns now to attract other starters for their survival or else aims to get lots of POWER MONEY and SEX and move from being a finisher to a starter.

What is the unique thing about this PMS?

Unlike the other PMS we know of that are linked to the potential joys of birthing new life….this type of PMS = POWER MONEY SEX…leads to a sort of sub_human existence, for the starter they now bring out their reptilian brain and cannibalism and walk true life as if in a jungle, fully on id, the pleasure principle where their drive is for more POWER more MONEY to allow for more SEX on their terms….for the finisher they now walk around as a turtle constantly moving with extreme care and caution and instead of boldly forging progressively through life move with the awareness that PMS can strike at any moment

Are you or someone you know been a sufferer of PMS? We can support you to #carryon without those symptoms that make our daily existence miserable or way below par…


We are in the information age….which is simply an advancement of the introduction of the ‘printing press’ ….what does it mean?

It means that the Press, Media Houses are mega important to our social cultural psychological life….

we need to be informed whether we use offline or online sources or a combination of both….so most if not all of us have love for our Press and recognize the importance of Freedom of the Press….

but wait ..not so fast…not so fast! …

even with all that love…. is it enough to say Happy World Press Freedom Day or to say…

The World (better) Press Freedom Day!

Here is why?….We press and public alike better Press Freedom Day because;

  • Evaluating press freedom around the world

So let us evaluate; the Press has freedom to protect its sources, to promote awareness of important information….who decides what information is important to make it Press worthy and what information is stifled and considered not Press worthy…and because of the importance of the Press, this 1 decision can have mega effects globally…so sure support for freedom of the Press…but this is the group that is leading our age in a big way since they deal with the collateral of  our times “INFORMATION” …so the Public better Press freedom day and monitor the Press for good ethical practices and policies by ensuring they have the relevant monitoring bodies 

  • Defending the media from attacks on their independence

Of course….even with these monitoring bodies we realize that many would love to control the Press and media and with good sure it is important to support media independence…but then again what about when the media goes on and on and on without limits making difficult for ‘persons of interest’ to live their life independently because of making them the Press star of the moment…paparazzi anyone  does being independent make it okay to sensationalize someone’s life for views ….guess we all better Press Freedom

  • Paying tribute to journalists who have lost their lives in the exercise of their profession

And of course our journalists and the like ought to be able to carry out their profession with freedom from fear, bullying and sabotage..can we all do the same? 

  • Serving as an occasion to inform citizens of violations of press freedom

Okay great so on a mega ideal level we have a conversation going…but what about those Monica’s out there (yes it was so intense, a last name is not even required) 

  • Journalists, editors and publishers are harassed, attacked, detained and even murdered

No no no we cannot agree to harassment of our Press…yet under the radar…abuse by proxy takes place and it is when someone in authority engages the media to target for harassment their ‘person of interest’ 

So encouraging and developing initiatives in favour of press freedom, and to assess the state of press freedom worldwide …

what is the state of press freedom worldwide? guess it depends on where we are standing…either way we all better Press World Freedom Day…press and public alike and encourage and develop initiatives in favour of ‘press freedom’ and by that we do mean ‘press freedom’ = freedom for press & freedom for public to support free information flow

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Dear Positive Psychology People,

Do you know what often leads to “psychosis” or moving away from reality? It is when our reality has become 2 harsh…. that we can easily employ a


where we refuse to accept the reality

where we refuse to view the situation for what it actually is’

where we focus on what should and should and should

Our psychology is strengthened 

when  we accept harsh

when we accept the seriousness and severity of the situation  

when we realize it cannot be ‘business as usual’ 

when we realize that life is now demanding that we become a different and better person who is able to deal and heal 


So to all out there harsh comes in different ways forms and times and we can choose INSANITY or ACCEPT HARSH!

This is going to be short and NOT sweet…


How to know when we are dealing with a Narcissist?

  1. Our thoughts = 0
  2. Our words = 0
  3. Our actions =0

Why? Because everything ALWAYS gives the same result 

X marking the spot where the Narcissist must be….


EVERYWHERE ….everyday..every time…24/7

when dealing with a Narcissist we remain a 0 entity


Calypso singers called  calypsonians have always taught 2 things;

  1. Assertiveness ….speaking out clearly about our view on a matter &
  2. Social Justice …. the part we all play in preserving social justice

On an individual level and within smaller communities both apply to our lives and this is not only if we live in the Caribbean

For Assertiveness Training life coaching … log on @


Now this whole matter of #metoo has been something that as a therapist has been quite disturbing….


because for myself the idea of me too has always had positive connotations and something to be celebrated and

because the idea of saying me too very often seems somewhat to be making a mockery of whatever the issues are at hand … and this is exactly what many fear might be happening with the great number of men being accused of sexual abuse/assault years after the fact…as mentioned in conversations with others … where is the evidence? and this no doubt is the idea of Catherine Deneuve et al. with the signing of the petitions

So emphasizing with the innocent men…. but here is the thing…

sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment and bullying of women is ridiculously prevalent ….

and it is the ridiculous prevalence that allows the idea of #metoo to resonant so clearly

Here is an example…

A therapist met this guy. They had a brief sexual encounter which he chose to virally spread. This was in conjunction with the therapist being part of a sort of ‘reality show’ where she and this ex and one other woman would vive for this guy’s attention by it would seem their sexual performing abilities. The therapist was appalled, sought answers none were forthcoming. She realized the guy was not that innocent and it was generally felt she was over reacting. Eventually to make a long story short, it was decided therapist won the reality competition despite the fact that her oral expertise remain questionable. The therapist of course noted the psychological warfare and sexual harassment for what it is and has no desire for this guy. The result is to subtly bully the therapist to return and settle with this guy by withholding support.

Now does that story not seem unbelievable …and where is the evidence..there is none…but guess what …that therapist can also say #metoo…..

Seems  its a case of …

WOOOP There it is…

Yes WOOOP ….. women only objects of pleasure….. 

(and this then makes all sorts of unbelievable stories very true)

so guys while the empathy is there for the innocent….

we might be able to appreciate that it is only when or if we move pass forcing the code #254 aka BED on women and view them beyond the bedroom and bed performances that #metoo would resonant a little less

If you or someone you know might be recovering from related matters…either target or someone who is dealing with the guilt of having target someone, or someone who has been innocently accused … sessions available @

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Sometimes its hard to correct that which we might be endorsing in so many other ways… 

when it comes to domestic violence we all go up in alms if or when a woman is destroyed through death, yet women destroy men’s lives with their mouths tarnishing reputations, a boss might destroy an employee’s career by destroying their reputation, a political figure might destroy another’s public life unnecessarily because of a hidden agenda…  domestic violence is far more than when that man raises his hand at that woman

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence (and we use this term in a broad based way) log on