Moving you forward one step at a time

Children are simply ‘little people’

To some of you parents it might be (alright please, not again). But for many of our children its worth it…

so again what are some other ways to check in or out that your child is being prepared to conquer their World.

Overprotection reaps resistance

As mentioned in an earlier post in this Series, openness to experience and curiosity is all part of being a developing child (hopefully we keep some of it as adults too)

For some children though, everything is all well and good, the openness is there once it is something that was done with parents or within the home… so in other words the child goes out into the school environment partly prepared to benefit from school because their mindset is …

“this is good once it was done before or something like it was done before with the parents” (and we are not talking here about religious restrictions or beliefs)

for example, Johnny is asked to move his hand in square-like motion looking at the drawing of the square (odd request we agree) but the exercise has a purpose … however Johnny gets in a panic and refuses because “you don’t move your hand like a square, you move it in circles, his parents taught him that…. get the point …

While as parents its important to protect and guide its as important to make room for responsible and safe others (such as teachers, coaches etc.) to be able to teach new things which the kids then can take pleasure in teaching parents

Recover & Resilience…good balance

Now take Johnny again but coming from a more balanced experience… he is asked to move his hands in a square-like motion … being new to him, and being guided by his parents that its natural to move his hands in a circle, and being trained to trust his parents…Johnny pauses and wonders about the request… since his parents also communicated to him that he would meet new and sometimes challenging experiences (a lot of which he could handle with a little effort) he giggles and tries …. that is recovery (coming back from the shock of an unexpected request) and resilience (being able to move forward) … Johnny eventually learned the purpose of the exercise and feels proud of himself for trying

So how do we get there as parents?

Once children understand the needful in terms of warning signs for if/when an adult is hurting them and what to do.. . then its safe to help them to appreciate how other adults become part of their ‘team’ to help them grow and develop

But truth be told some as parents it is we who sometimes need to work a bit more on being able to trust enough to do so.

Imagine the child who for one reason or the next is deprived of that parental care and attention that is so much needed for one reason or the other … and so has the need for support from an established institution what sort of songs would this child begin to sing…

One such child was The Original De Fosto Himself… and often within the songs was that noticeable beat of #hardships #overcoming #oppression #courage #sufferage #struggle #socialjustice #discrimination #encouragement #willtosurvive

and this is understandable given the journey of such a child to adulthood…

but often these songs come when the ‘orphan’ is at an earlier point in his journey…

Later in the ‘orphan’ journey

The ‘orphan’ comes to realize that #struggle #hardships and #overcoming are not only the exclusive territory of the ‘orphan’ but of all of mankind… and so the ‘orphan’ sings more songs of #prosperity #progress #courage and #empowerment …

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We all want our children to sing a song sounding like this, don’t we? 

Yet the thing is that many of us parents miss the red flags!

it is easy to get so bogged down, working hard to make sure our children have all the needed products that we forget that that is really only the beginning… and that there

MUST be an activating activity or activities that prepare the child to benefit from wherever they might find themselves,  

so as children head back out to school, what activities have we had with them to prepare them to get ready… have we asked how school is going from the child’s point of view? have we helped that child to understand what is required of them? have we considered some of the things that need to be dealt with that might distract them from benefiting from what they need to be doing in school?

otherwise like in this video we only get a half-way result!

online support 24/7 @

#therapy or #lifecoaching

Belonging and Connectivity are important for children to have a healthy self-esteem…as children begin to go out into the wider World, it is their peer group that they want most to connect with and belong to….and so it is important to help our children to have a desire to belong and connect to a group of friends/peer group that would help them become ‘good citizens’ of their little school community

#coaching during times of transitions @vailable @t

Know Your Friends! and help the children know who are theirs

Teacher Appreciation Week…

let us be honest shall we…its really more like lecturer appreciation week,

for our World filled with focus on fame and glory, neglect the beginning phases and focus on the end where we read of the success story,

So the higher the schooling time, the more we praise and let that teacher/lecturer shine,

Yet how ironic it is, that the first two years makes a difference between a resilient child, an emotionally at risk child and one with the full potential to be a wiz, the first 7 years the personality has some solid traits that will basically play a big part in working toward future grades

Yet we focus on the big and often forget the small or reverse the idea of the contributing factor to the child potential

So this Teacher Appreciation Week how about we seek to really discover how children develop and the great significance of the fact that we walk only after we creep and if you have a little one that is quite small, do not wait until later to really pick up the ball simply to be focused on seeing his/her name on that wall, for by the time they hit 9 and 10 and beyond the ground work has a lot to do with what is or is not going on….

Happy Teachers Week to one and all and especially to those who work with the #small


Children are very observant so they do notice differences but it is neither good nor bad for simply is…

Because children do recognize differences though it is important to ensure our children feel comfortable and confident in their differences  

Some more on children and their outlook on differences


Try as Ana May might she was unable to pull from her beloved Dick the love and commitment she wanted from her relationship and her Anabel was not doing the trick…

Postpartum ….

This was no ordinary postpartum but the type that came because of a mourning for a relationship that was …the type that came because the child trick had not worked ..

so “I starve you starve”

Anabel would now become exposed to what Ana was exposed to as a child…

NOT being loved for the essence of who they were but being loved if and only if…

Anabel got love when or if her baby actions were interpreted as comforting Ana

Anabel got love when or if someone mentioned how much she resembled her daddy

Anabel got love when or if Ana needed to feel indispensable…

(outside of that Anabel was deemed a nuisance and a trigger for Ana May’s postpartum depression …she took time away from Ana May being able to mourn and track down her Dick)

Without realizing it Anabel was creating another her…another woman who was being conditioned from early that they were not worthy of love just because they were naturally worthy but only when or if they made the object of their desire happy..only if or when they worked tirelessly to please the object of their affections and even so another woman was being conditioned that no matter what they did they would never become loved for who they were in a real way for they were always there to simply be useful to another just as Anabel was a tool to save a relationship

The truth can be a bitter pill but it can also be our saving grace if worked through….What would become of Ana May….

Tune in next week for more as Ana May goes back in time 

if you or someone you know can relate….related sessions @

if you are a parent struggling to not do what Ana May is doing listen here

It is the right of each child to be given a safe and healthy environment for their development….

do we really know how many children are abused Worldwide? Too Many!

are we aware of how many people abused as children develop mental health concerns? Too Many!

Listen to some sound advise from sexologist

For related therapeutic sessions



Some have even suggested that from even in the womb children begin responding to sounds…. no surprise then by the time they reach around 4 years of age they begin speaking to themselves based on who they think they are… very important that they keep thinking of themselves in mostly positive ways even while acknowledging that they might make mistakes or do naughty things at times…

For more information or related support log on at

And tune in later for more on Helping Activate Youth

Of course we do not want our children left behind….from early they need to get acquainted with their scientific and technology world…

so books and library visits out the door huh….

think again and again… their mental health and wellbeing just might depend on it…

Balance Online and Offline activities … that is really how we can best prepare our children for this world…

any time if ever useful 24/7 access for #onlinecounselling or #lifecoaching … know you can go online and google to get the difference right … office online #karryonservices @