Mothers DAY is here again
Some of us know all to well what it means to grit and grind through Mother’s Day … as we look upon our Mothers or reflect upon our Mothers who were there in body yet seemed to drain us more than develop us
Some of us understand how precious Mothers are as we consider how our Mothers loved and nurtured, quarreled and challenged us into being the persons that we are today
This blog is for the first “some of us”
On Being Motherless
It is one thing to become a Mother …its easy for some whose fertility are in tact .. but its quite another thing to be a Mother … and even quite another thing to embrace being a Mother
Some of us who feel around Mothers Day like a “Motherless child” might have good reason to feel that way .. and it might help to begin by fully accepting all feelings …
Unfortunately some females based on past history have a strong tendency toward Narcissism which is to say that there is a deep lack of self-esteem and a loss as to having a fairly stable sense of self and strong self- worth and so women with such histories many times come up with the perfect idea …. have a baby … why???????? because then they will be loved adored admired unconditionally at least that is the thinking and that lack of self, lack of wondering who they are and lack of self-love will be gained through the child
And so any child born into this was Motherless even in the womb…for Mother had an agenda for baby to be there for her…
to make Mother feel loved
to make Mother feel worthy
to make Mother know who she is
And so the child must work from day one, to always feel loveable to Mother, never “make” Mother feel any uncomfortable feeling, and do whatever Mother needs so good behaviour is a must, good grades is a must, good choices throughout life aka whatever Mother wants and helps Mother look best
All the while the child is growing and developing and being there to build up Mother
that indeed is being Motherless!!!!!!!
Go easy on yourself chances are you know what it is to take responsibility for your feelings and those of others
Realize Mother behaviour had nothing to do with you
Consider you are not alone this happens more often than we know
Accept that the odds are against you in terms of the amount of work that must now be done to truly accept and love yourself …since part of being Motherless is feeling unworthy and unloved… but that is mot where the story has to end …. create or seek a
Mentor or Motivator who will support your journey of self-love and self-discovery might be a friend, relative, therapist or life coach
Openly accept your reality. It is so unfortunate when the ‘Motherless’ try to fit in instead of creating awareness and by extension acceptance on a very common phenomenon … nobody says you must tell all to all .. but why pretend
Tackle the effects. It is so often that history tends to repeat. “My Mother was not there” and so as a woman that woman consciously or unconsciously does not mother her child or children. “My mother was not there” and so that man does not choose to have or father the child or children he has. Break the Cycle!
Heal!!!!! Personally if possible or seek professional assistance.
Embrace you. This is what Mother has never done but is essential to find love in your life.
Revise where you have come from and be proud of yourself or Retreat and begin your Recovery!!!!!!
Online Counselling or Life Coaching available @
And guess what to all who know they Mothered themselves Happy Mothers Day to you tooo … its one thing to become a Mother and another to be a Mother