Moving you forward one step at a time

Children’s Rights

Eventually we work for a person as a child to know his or her name and it is so he or she can respond when another calls and it is also as an identity

This is HUGE … whatever a person responds to it is because he or she associates with him or herself … therefore as a parent it is important that we give a name a positive association by the things we say very often about our children for eventually this is what they will associate with their name and with who they are and will behave accordingly  


We live in a World that has created a culture of ‘youth worship’ … and its a culture that we love…

what are the young then to do?

Research shows that the adolescent brain is still in that stage of development, and that the area being developed during this stage of life might be linked to the adolescent not fully appreciating the consequences of choices.

When we notice our youth acting out in schools and we hear ‘complimentary’ comments on ‘these young people’ or Generation Z … we cannot help but wonder at the dilemma of our culture of youth worship

In our culture of youth worship how long do our little demi-gods truly get for unconditional regard and understanding of their stage of development and real guidance from the adults in their lives without the psychological war breaking out …

that is the insecurity and feeling of generational competition triggered by our global culture of ‘youth worship’

could our culture of ‘youth worship’ have many of those who might lead secretly resenting the youth with all their youthful behaviours and so instead of truly embracing them and guiding and seeking to understand it becomes a sort of ‘us’ against ‘them’ with the young people being left on their own way too early to figure it all out … could it be too that we assume that once youth looks like young people success socializing good grades academic striving … that we assume nothing further is needed .. forgetting that the young are just that young and new to all what the older ones have come to know and accept as part of life

One wonders then and it is not a blame game .. but how is our culture of youth worship  colouring  how we look at our youth .. what we say and do not say to them… how we relate with them and if we even give them a major benefit ideally of being young and youthful … the listening ear and guidance of an older loved one.. or is it our demi-gods are now way too privileged for such  … with many of their behaviours being labelled and or shrugged off as ‘things young people do’

It is natural to work hard to ensure our children have “shelter” of “a roof over their head” … but that is a HOUSE. And because children by virtue of their stage of developmental are quite vulnerable providing a HOME is equally important…. and often as a society we pay a might high price when little thought and action goes behind providing a home for our children

Home for the child is a place of emotional physical and spiritual safety

And where parents and guardians are concerned the act of providing a home is ongoing for our children…

One of our great unspoken tragedies that often occurs within and or around the home environment is that of sexual abuse with our girls and boys now being almost equally at risk .. our focus needs to always be on two things;

keeping the home safe emotionally physically and spiritually for the child

moving to remove anyone or anything that presents emotion physical or spiritual harm or else get the child to a place of safety

As parents we remain human .. if or when any shadow aspect of our humanity threatens our safety it is for us to search out help to better our selves and or even protect our children from that shadow 

Why is it even important? 

After doing the session which was nothing short of energy and fun… it was again obvious the need for PTA, even at this age some children take boldly to watching themselves, while others shy away from the mirror … taking time to tune in to what is being shared in both video can go along way to ensure your child can bravely boldly and lovingly look at him/herself and know they have all within to progress upwards and onwards … tune in  

Children who feel connected to family relatives and home will tend to have a stronger self-image…. remember we must use TACT with our little ones. 

“Children’s early experience shape their whole life trajectories. Even experiences before birth, the conditions that the mother lives in while she’s pregnant, can make changes. And you don’t have to be a neuroscientist to know that these factors can influence one’s whole life,” 

Early Life Experience, Critical Periods, and Brain Development.. by Kayt Sukel

Purposeful Parenting Mechanics… Reconstruction Moves


Mothers DAY is here again

Some of us know all to well what it means to grit and grind through Mother’s Day … as we look upon our Mothers or reflect upon our Mothers who were there in body yet seemed to drain us more than develop us

Some of us understand how precious Mothers are as we consider how our Mothers loved and nurtured, quarreled and challenged us into being the persons that we are today

This blog is for the first “some of us”

On Being Motherless

It is one thing to become a Mother …its easy for some whose fertility are in tact .. but its quite another thing to be a Mother … and even quite another thing to embrace being a Mother

Some of us who feel around Mothers Day like a “Motherless child” might have good reason to feel that way .. and it might help to begin by fully accepting all feelings …

Unfortunately some females based on past history have a strong tendency toward Narcissism which is to say that there is a deep lack of self-esteem and a loss as to having a fairly stable sense of self and strong self- worth and so women with such histories many times come up with the perfect idea …. have a baby … why???????? because then they will be loved adored admired unconditionally at least that is the thinking and that lack of self, lack of wondering who they are and lack of self-love will be gained through the child

And so any child born into this was Motherless even in the womb…for Mother had an agenda for baby to be there for her…

to make Mother feel loved

to make Mother feel worthy

to make Mother know who she is

And so the child must work from day one, to always feel loveable to Mother, never “make” Mother feel any uncomfortable feeling, and do whatever Mother needs so good behaviour is a must, good grades is a must, good choices throughout life aka whatever Mother wants and helps Mother look best

 All the while the child is growing and developing and being there to build up Mother

that indeed is being Motherless!!!!!!!

What Now?

Go easy on yourself chances are you know what it is to take responsibility for your feelings and those of others

Realize Mother behaviour had nothing to do with you

Consider you are not alone this happens more often than we know

Accept that the odds are against you in terms of the amount of work that must now be done to truly accept and love yourself …since part of being Motherless is feeling unworthy and unloved… but that is mot where the story has to end …. create or seek a

Mentor or Motivator who will  support your journey of self-love and self-discovery might be a friend, relative, therapist or life coach

Openly  accept your reality. It is so unfortunate when the ‘Motherless’ try to fit in instead of creating awareness and by extension acceptance on a very common phenomenon … nobody says you must tell all to all .. but why pretend

Tackle the effects. It is so often that history tends to repeat. “My Mother was not there” and so as a woman that woman consciously or unconsciously does not mother her child or children. “My mother was not there” and so that man does not choose to have or father the child or children he has. Break the Cycle!

Heal!!!!! Personally if possible or seek professional assistance. 

Embrace you. This is what Mother has never done but is essential to find love in your life.

Revise where you have come from and be proud of yourself or Retreat and begin your Recovery!!!!!!

Online Counselling or Life Coaching available @

And guess what to all who know they Mothered themselves Happy Mothers Day to you tooo … its one thing to become a Mother and another to be a Mother


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Recent in the Newspapers was the Story of a

                                  PARENT who commits the fatal act of suicide BUT not before forcing the son to also drink the POISON   ………………………….

NOW THIS IS something that shows itself OVER and OVER IN SO MANY WAYS ……..

When two persons meet they have a CHOICE to enter a relation-SHIP

a CHOICE to have consensual sexual relations

a CHOICE to have unprotected sexual relations ……………. coming out of 1 or a combination of the 3 CHOICES  A CHILD IS BORN …. AND that is only if there is not a CHOICE to have an abortion 

So A CHILD is born out of a relation-SHIP 


Is it then NOT a travesty of JUSTICE when added to that

                                                                 a CHILD is made to be FOR THE Relation-SHIP

If  as a woman you use your CHOICE and decide to have a child to SAVE the Relation-SHIP the child is now a tool made  FOR THE Relation-SHIP to survive

If the partners during the relation-SHIP each look to their child as the sole and only reason to remain in that relation-SHIP the child has become the SAVIOUR  FOR THE Relation-SHIP

If a child notices their parents always arguing and becomes anxious that they will separate but knows they are the only reason the parents will stay together and takes it upon themselves to behave BADLY so that the parents who were considering separating change their minds … the child has taken a decision to SACRIFICE him/herself FOR THE Relation-SHIP

When a mother boasts that she lives ONLY for her children and has no life outside of her children who then feel it is their duty to LIVE TO PLEASE THEIR MOTHER … that child is losing him/herself in-order  FOR THE Relation-SHIP with their mother to continue

When a son knows that his father ONLY approves of him if he OBEYS him ALWAYS in ALL aspects of his life EVEN TO HIS OWN HURT … he is losing himself FOR THE Relation-SHIP with his father to continue 

Years later these CHILDREN struggle REALLY struggle 

with being on the BORDERline of functioning as a healthy sane person 

they are now left to wonder “Who am I?”

THEY have an unstable IDENTITY because they are who people say they are

they struggle with DEPRESSION and other similar mood issues

they doubt their worth BECAUSE they  ONLY feel LOVABLE AND WORTHY if they are useful 

they tend toward finding themselves in abusive relationships

PLEASE if you are an ADULT use your POWER of CHOICE responsibly 

REMEMBER CHILDREN are products of a relation-SHIP be it sexual only or an intimate committed one

CHILDREN ARE LITTLE people they have the right to be loved just for being 

children are not TOOLS!!!!   

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