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Conflict Management

Life is so full of Odd things and Odd times, we even have a saying “that the Odds are against ….”

How we respond to the Odds of life makes a huge difference

The Odds of Life … The Odds of Life are

  • Our Different Dynamics Socially …. we all enter into this life under varied social circumstances that includes our physical characteristics that already has certain social pros and cons attached to it, our familial setting and culture, our birth position in the family, our country of birth, the socio-political-economic climate that we are born into 

The Odds of Life … The Odds of Life are

  • Others Definitely Do Sabotaging ….  beginning sadly but sometimes oh so honestly from our families, others do deliberately and sometimes unconsciously put things in place to make our life’s journey ever so difficult to hinder success, it might continue for some or begin with meeting someone(s) at work, community or other or someone from a previous relationship who is determined to help frustrate and progressive moves  

The Odds of Life … The Odds of Life are

  • Others Don’t Determine Success … after all is said and done and sometimes said and done multiple times … while life chances and experiences do determine the level of difficulty of the journey .. others don’t determine success … people defy the “odds” when 
  1. There is an acceptance of the current circumstance for what it is
  2. There remains a focus on working on only what remains within your circle of control
  3. There is no wasted effort or energy on becoming unduly angry about frustrations circumstantial or created that make the journey more difficult
  4. There is a defining of success for self since realistically what might look as “not much of a success” to another in different circumstances might well be a great achievement and success in the reality of the life of another

So when people say the “odds are against you” it really is odd in many forms and many ways and oddly enough only you can truly determine the odds, how odd 

For better or for worse relationships include conflict management

There are multiple ways to resolve conflict

The way we resolve conflicts in relationship determine:

  • The future of the relationship
  • The dynamics of the relationship

Some couples plod through the pain distress and UN-ease and they are the better as individuals and as a unit for it … but what of the “emergency-exist activity” 

Some individuals on noticing any possible conflict in a relationship, be it mainly of their doing, their partners doing, circumstantial, a difference of opinion, a feeling of insecurity or what have you … choose to take an emergency-exist

Taking An Emergency-Exit 

Individuals in relationships who deal with conflict by taking an emergency exit might tend to simply “fall into the arms” of  a new lover at the first signs of distress in a relationship, the exit might be a work colleague, a long-time friend, an unknown person or an ex-girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband

This exist strategy is two-fold … it helps calm their anxiety response to the conflict but it also serves as as subtle threat to their partner that

  • “If things  are too stressful for me and I do not feel at ease in my relationship, you can easily lose me to another who would embrace me with open arms” … in  accepting this partner back after every emergency exit .. a power dynamic is created in the relationship, where one partner continually feels they must “swallow” all that they might not be comfortable with in the relationship in exchange for their partner’s fidelity …

Are Emergency-Exits Temporary?

At the first sign of an emergency-exit then one might do well to ask, is this temporary? 

A temporary emergency-exit might be in one of two cases

  • There was an on-going conflict that the partner was in fact trying to resolve but felt frustrated at each turn, it might be that he/she felt at his/her wits end and it happened where they found a listening ear at the right time with the right person that realized a close connection expressed sexually in the moment … it might be that their is genuine remorse and if the other chooses to forgive it might be a temporary phenomenon
  • It might be that all the initial took place and it is in fact no longer temporary in that it moves to being permanent with the exiting partner leaving the relationship for good

Conflict in Relationships: Sure to come

Emergency-Existing As Temporary: Might come through or might not

The thing is for each in their relationship to make the assessment and decide

https://karryon.privacemail.com/

 

All inventions of man shape the kind of World we live in and eventually create for ourselves

With the introduction of technology and social media we can now say to newcomers ..

Welcome to ‘Our Peeping Tom Era’

Welcome to ‘Our Peeping Tom Era’

Our Era where we choose to ‘undress’ to varying degrees in front of others

Our Era where much money might be had in agreeing or decide to ‘undress’ to varying degrees in front of others (reality T.V.)

Our Era where social rape (character assassination via media) is rampant and a  threat is now posed to past lovers, persons in high office, celebrities and to one and all

Our Era where persons many a times meet you for the second time even on a first meeting since you have already been ‘googled’

Our Era where personal ..relationships … family … boundaries have barely visible lines

Our Era where attention is given to whose strip tease tactics are best (most enticing information shared) and not necessarily to those who have aided mankind or contributed in any truly meaningful way

Our Era where people no longer chase away peeping Toms but line up and push to present their peep show (reality show)

And of course we make no connection between our peeping Tom era and challenges that we might face from  those whose behaviour are deemed unfit because they have crossed boundaries by imposing themselves on another in one way or another that is classified as illegal

Welcome to ‘Our Peeping Tom Era’

“No Lives are led outside history or society; they take place in human time” ~ A Will And A Way 

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Conflict is an unavoidable part of life

Conflict occurs between parent and child, couples, co-workers, business partners, employees and employers, managers and direct reports,  community leaders, state leaders, and just about any two or more people in different settings

There are trillions of ways to resolve any conflict, one of which being to deny it exits and another being to run away

Our choice in how we resolve our conflict will inevitable determine the impact on us and others for days, sometimes even months, years and decades to come

There is a common thinking especially among those who hold more power or believe that they hold more power in a relationships, for example, parents, men in relation to their partners and employers … that once a solution is given by them from them that they reason to be reasonable and with benefits for all that the conflict is well-resolved 

YET

“No agreement is good unless it is good for both parties”

What is forgotten though is that the conflict exists in the first place because the two parties have different perspectives, values, objectives, ideas of where the conflict even exists in the first place and so …. it might be a solution offered that might lead to a mere comply and complain with complaining taking many forms that ultimately continues with the root conflict  showing itself in another connected conflict

Hence the Power of Mediation   

Why Karry-On Mediation?