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The Prince rules his kingdom….

so when it comes to picking a partner…what does the prince think…

is it that the prince goes off searching and searching because… he #needs his partner… take a moment to think about it…

when or if we choose and we say to our partner “I need you” and that is why I seek for you, and that is why I love you and that is why I want you and that is why I choose you … then  we are coming from a place of lack and our partner becomes something that we must have for survival…

would the prince really be in that position… when or if we approach someone form that position… our need to have our need has become our master and we have become the slave…and our master can bid us to do anything and almost everything we can to make sure our need is met…but this has little or nothing to do with what might be in the best interest of our partner who becomes nothing more than a source of survival….

Ahhhh…but that true prince…

that true prince knows that he can meet his own needs and so when going off in search of a partner looks around at all his options and opportunities and makes a very deliberate choice based on the virtues he observes, think Cinderella, think Sleeping Beauty, based on his desires, based on compatibility..think Love and Basketball, based on shared interests, think Save the Last Dance… yes that true prince says…

“I choose you” as “I have come to know and love you” and so “I want you” and by extension now “I need you” … but if per chance you would not have me…then I might mournfully go but it remains that “I chose you” and “I love you”

We are all like that prince and we can either be like that true prince or a fake prince…the fake prince is the one who acts like they are meeting the need themselves but approaches the partner from a place of real lack and need…. we win in #relationships when we can enter our #loverelationships our #committedrelationships our #marriages from a place of self-satisfaction ..where our partner simply takes it to another level

From day 1 and building slowly and slowly Mr. Adan seeks to build his sense of security in the relationship…and of course feeling secure in one’s relationship is not a bad thing in and of itself…however….

Adan Mother-May-I gets his sense of security when he is sure that he has a partner who would behave as he desires and as Mother would approve and he knows but one sure way of making this happen…

Bit by Bit he begins to find ways to

Minus Control from his partner and Add that Control to him…

so a partner with Mr. Adan Mother-May-I would find that slowly the activities that would provide some sort of independence or ‘real’ choice is slowly taken away…not in a demanding way least not at first or if unnecessary but simply through a suggestion here, a request there or even a little manipulation or guilt-tripping …and often the partner realizes only later that it was all in an attempt to have them become more easily agreeable to ALL incoming requests and or suggestions…..

If you do find yourself with a Mr. Adan Mother-May-I  ..until or unless these behaviours no longer help reduce tensions…they more than likely will continue…it is for any partner then to decide whether the C- (Control Minus) works for them …. 


Dear Positive Psychology People,

Do you know what often leads to “psychosis” or moving away from reality? It is when our reality has become 2 harsh…. that we can easily employ a


where we refuse to accept the reality

where we refuse to view the situation for what it actually is’

where we focus on what should and should and should

Our psychology is strengthened 

when  we accept harsh

when we accept the seriousness and severity of the situation  

when we realize it cannot be ‘business as usual’ 

when we realize that life is now demanding that we become a different and better person who is able to deal and heal 


So to all out there harsh comes in different ways forms and times and we can choose INSANITY or ACCEPT HARSH!

This is going to be short and NOT sweet…


How to know when we are dealing with a Narcissist?

  1. Our thoughts = 0
  2. Our words = 0
  3. Our actions =0

Why? Because everything ALWAYS gives the same result 

X marking the spot where the Narcissist must be….


EVERYWHERE ….everyday..every time…24/7

when dealing with a Narcissist we remain a 0 entity


Adan Mother-May-I was enjoying his new-found relationship as he always does and suddenly there was a complication…

“MAMA does not like you!” 

Of course Adan Mother-May-I does not tell this to his new-found interest…instead he begins doing things to SABOTAGE THE RELATIONSHIP..

all the while he is resenting hi mother’s intruding in his romantic life…

he HATES his mother …he thinks…he knows…but he would never admit it…

for which boy does not long for his mother’s love and approval….

so once again she has to go…

Poor girl will be none-the wiser Adan Mother-May-I thought….but he knew..he knew she was not a girl…but a young lady….

it was he who was the BOY….

THE boy who hated/resented his mother but dare not leave her or stop seeking her love & approval

It would forever be mAAmA Rules!

Are you or someone you know tired of being an Adan Mother-May-I?

And if you are with an Adan Mother-May-I this is one time the relationship really is #complicated because this grown boy ..this man…has yet to detach emotionally from his mother in a way that frees him to truly connect to a romantic interest? For #lifecoaching or #therapy



positioned to go global

We support entrepreneurs with our readiness to provide #life coaching in times of change or for the relationships that are happening to get on or remain on track as the entrepreneur does his or her thing … log on @

Richard Must-B-Joking after doing his last discard was ready to approach Ms. Say-What but he had already began his narcissistic behaviors with Ms. Say What….

  • creating dramas
  • having a third party lover
  • leaving her guessing
  • letting her know she should try to understand him
  • ghosting or disappearing and reappearing

but he was okay even with Ms. Say What declarations that it was over…


because there was another strategy that ALWAYS worked for Richard…

it’s called #lovebombing ..

where he uses others and the media to communicate forever fairy tale love to his target….

but to his surprise Ms. Say What knows the narcissistic abusive tricks traps and cycles and remains uninterested…

BEWARE IF YOU ARE AT THIS POINT with your #narcissist and remain adamant of no interest they can try to hurt you so do #protect yourself and do know that to go back is to re-enter a #cycleofABUSE …

for support log on

Whether-Ready Discard-Smart that it the theme of Richard Must-B-Joking

How can we tell his discard pattern? Here are two experiences as told by Ms. Say What!

  1. Ms. Say What! and Richard were ‘friends’ and since Ms. Say What! was both working and studying she relished the breaks from her study routine. As was usual during a chat with Richard he suggested she drop by the following Sunday evening. To her surprise on dropping by Richard was no where around but instead she met another young lady who was more than a little thrown by her presence. The young lady contacted Richard while openly letting Ms. Say What! know she considered her a threat. Ms. Say What! trying to reassure made statements to insist she was bu Richard’s friend and even suggested to Richard she not wait around but visit another time. To make a long story short Richard insisted she stay and Ms. SAY what! obliged. Later Richard came and after the discussions the young lady seemed visibility upset. Richard and a friend dropped the young lady home first and then Ms. Say What! Ms. Say What! noticed two things the enormous size of the young lady’s home and her seeming affection for Richard and disappointment and surprise at his behavior. #Whether-Ready #Discard-Smart
  2.   Years many years later on the follow up with discussions from friends, Ms. Say What! and Richard explored the possibility of being more than friends. Ms. Say What! was aware of his long-standing serious relationship where he was engaged and had a son. So things were moving along slowly. One day during a call with his ‘ex-fiance’ while Ms. Say What! was present, she noticed that Richard seemed to go out of her way to make it known that he was in the presence of a female, this Ms. Say What! found odd. In time to come Ms. Say What! realized his ‘ex-fiance’ had become the girl from scenario 1 who was surprised. And she might have well been Ms. Clueless since once again she was being strategically used in Richard’s #Whether-Ready #Discard-Smart

Now would Ms. Say What! really consider being more than friends with Richard…surely his name is Richard Must-B-Joking…because Ms. Say What! has the history and is able to notice his Whether-Ready patterns where people are unknowingly used to Discard-Smart his partners when they have expired its hardly likely

Were you with a Richard Must-B-Joking? or a Regina Must-B-Joking? Often the surprise is great along with the feeling of hurt and betrayal. For supportive #therapy log on or for relationship #coaching to get back some confidence going forward

Inspiration for theme came from #WorldMeteorologicalDay