Moving you forward one step at a time

How To Be A Self-LOVING Woman by MindBodyGreen

Abuse is Abuse is Abuse!!!!!!! But even so when we notice that the girl/woman is “pretty” by most standards, we really wonder… 

Here’s the Ugly truth! We, the society, well-meaning go off complimenting and complimenting and that pretty girl loses all her other beautiful qualities…and becomes a ‘pretty thing’ …and if she were a real thing that would be okay… but truth is a person as a ‘pretty thing’ actually feels quite unworthy and of little value beyond that 1 thing…

So let’s remember to not just make the ‘pretty’ feel ‘pretty’ but beautiful outside and


All Caught Up about being seen when as man (like Shaggy) we get in

Into the intimate private parts of another

If we do not want a partner to know we do not bother

Do not bother to admit we were there

And basically say by words or actions…go get the prove “it’s a dare”

Put how often again and again the prove is in the pudding when we eat

And it does not matter if we insist “we did not cheat”

for often enough we






either the partner, the one who said catch me if you can, or the one who was thought to be the other outside person

And #hate and #hurt are two powerful emotions

that gives lots of energies and devotions

to all connected to the one who says “prove it first”

and many times when people are feeling #hate or #hurt they make choices for the worst

So please take care when dealing with the emotions of others…and #beware of getting


#relationshipcoaching #relationshiptherapy @



Yes International Women’s Day once more! Last year we were #beingboldforchange and now in 2018 as we think of gender parity we are going to #pressforprogress

Okay so let’s press….

but wait…

Lemme take a #selfie … a gender selfie!

Our Gender Selfies

It’s hard  to #pressforchange when as soon as I’m finished being particular to get dressed for work my ladyfriend just finished breaking the internet with her biographical demonstration of how babies might be made… 

It’s hard to #pressforchange when the new hit song shows others little me shaking my tail feather…or is it that we are asking for 


Yes Gender parity when the men we meet and are to negotiate with in the Board room do not appreciate that if heterosexual then its a similar form such as ours that they would take to the bedroom

how do we expect them to keep a straight face? or is it we want more of these board room men to increase there rate of compartmentalizing the images that just broke the internet….


sure just as soon as fellow ladies stop making a spectacle of ourselves and waging sexual wars on each other to get our piece of steak man…

it might be just a little hard for our men to comprehend how this accomplished modern day woman keeps going back to basics of the P we would not mention and we are not talking about P for Pay or P for Property because remember we are saying that many of us are already getting paid and even have properties its the number of us and the comparative rates…yet we seem in so many ways to be getting our P’s confused…

so please be not surprised if we as a community of ladies do not take stock of ourselves that our great great great grands might also be #pressingforprogress … if only we can #proceedpastP***y&P***sPolitics!

Happy International Women’s Day!

For gender related #therapy or #lifecoaching log on @

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WTH! you think…you have been dating and met quite a few potential partners then suddenly whoop! there it is or here it is …34 and single….

It helps to consider this;

  • you are not alone…unfortunately this is especially true according to statistics for black women
  • trends indicate that many women across ethnicity and countries are coupling/marrying later

It does not help that;

  • the social and familial pressures and expectations remain
  • there might be a personal desire or even life goal that can no longer be met especially if it was one of those SMART  goals set for between 30-35

Moving Beyond 34 and Single;

We each and every one of us would find ourselves on that part of social norms where we are applauded and made to feel good about ourselves and on that part of social norms where we are made to feel partly or feel disappointed or as if we have disappointed.

Create your own life…

“But more than this she did it her way!”….. think that is how the song goes…

shhhh….tell you a secret…the World cannot handle every woman becoming a radical and going against the norms..what would happen to our species … (secret finished) that being said we might be able to appreciate how the social pressures to couple and copulate are actually quite helpful and needful to our species…

It’s nothing personal….

so if you did wake up 34 and single or might be soon…here are some tips;

  • live your life to its fullest and be all you can be
  • understand that while we belong to groups and have things in common with our group in some ways we will be different and that’s okay
  • know that there are now lots more options for dating and mate selection in today’s World
  • if fertility and baby making is a concern there are lots of options for that as well…

and if need be …can always log on for a session or 2 to carryon living your best life and being your best you @ 


In the first entry focus was on that male energy and essence … our Universe is so inclined to balance that it often creates a yin and yang  of energy flow…. 

so then we can hardly speak of man without a direct or indirect of the woman …

and so once again as we approach International Men’s Day there might be some areas that we can reflect …

Introducing the Modern Day Woman 

Undeniably women have changed over the centuries and decades into our nowadays modern woman … and we wonder how has this changed energy around woman impacted the energy and the essence that is man…

Some have argued this new woman of today has gone right over into the man of old territory and taken some of what would usually be a his only domain…

Generally as a group too women have become both more aggressive and assertive…

What then has been happening as a result of all of this with the energy flow between the genders? and more so how is this new woman sending out energy signals to man to compliment her energy? Have men as a group been in agreement with forming a complimentary energy for this new woman? When we look at gender issues  such as intimate partner violence might there be any contribution from this matter of unsettled energy flow? And what of relationship dynamics and marriage and divorce rates might this in any way be connected to energy flows between the man and woman?

It is easy to speak to men’s issues whether to commend or to condemn but a main thing is that for there to be an essence and energy called man there must be an equal and opposite energy and both energies continually impact upon each other. 

As we turn a bit towards our men then we are basically turning toward our women too and asking how this complimentary energy has been showing itself in men’s matters.

Yin & Yang 


Trauma tends to trouble & target our mind …. and one way it does this is when or if the trauma overtakes our being and sense of self and we now become the trauma … meaning all that we were before the trauma and all we are capable of being in the future becomes

coloured by what  we have experienced … so we become “the … man/woman” “the .. boy/girl” …

and it does not even stop there we then experience our self as lacking in worth compared to others … everybody is perceived of or thought of as better than us more worthy than us and so as we move throw life after the trauma it is like a walk of shame …

What happened?   …. we lost respect for ourselves … we lost the feeling of appreciating any positive good and or wholesome qualities within our self … all because the trauma messed with our minds

so for example in a country that was harshly hurricane hit …

the countrymen and women might easily fall into the trap of thinking it was something about them as a people that attracted the event and so judge themselves harshly and feel ashamed even when in the presence of those from other countries …

And this is one of the responses we must guard ourselves from … we might have experienced the trauma but we are not our trauma .. and just like with a positive experience we can pull forth that which can be useful and helpful going forward … after all the trauma already happened and that was bad enough .. so why not pull the best possible going forward ..

and one sure thing that truly helps to prevent this falling into ‘shame and worthlessness’ is to stop a while and really consider what you have been through… how tough it was… how tough it would have been for anyone .. and the mere fact that you are working through it is surely to be admired .. would you not admire someone else in the situation who is working their way through…  

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