Moving you forward one step at a time

Managing Difficult Personalities

Parenting being as tough as it is … and yet at times life cause us to have to move things around sometimes willingly sometime angrily …

But even as we move the human element remains and so we must check in with ourselves to ensure that what remains and comes forth are all the best part of the situation that can truly yield or at least have a reasonable chance to yield the best results

Some relationships are merely a contractual arrangement where one party agrees to be called boyfriend/girlfriend, child mother/father, fiance, wife/husband, partner/spouse under the conditions that; 

                                                     Terms of Agreement

  • The other party agrees to accept unquestioningly and unconditionally all behaviours of the other party even if it is to their own detriment
  • The other party agrees to NEVER say or even think any criticism of the other party even if it be constructive
  • The other party agrees to say, do, think and feel in ways that constantly boost the ego of the other party
  • The other party agrees to lose himself/herself as a privileged favour for it being replaced with the other party’s inflated sense of self
  • The other party agrees to feel hurt and deal with their hurt on their own time and in a way where it NEVER comes to attention of the party who contributed to those feelings
  • The other party agrees to accept emotional abuse from the other party while all the while denying that it even exists in the relationship
  • The other party agrees to do all in their power to make the other party look good and to boost their public image
  • The other party agrees that ‘love’ in the context of the relationship means … one party ‘loves’ how the other makes them feel about self and will do anything and everything to ensure he/she continues to feel good always
  • The other party agrees to die silently internally day by day and yet show forth an appearance of life and vibrancy for the joy and Ecstasy of the opportunity to be in a relationship with the other party

And so on …



Please note you sign at your own risk and all consequences will be deeply experienced and attempts to break the contract might prove incredibly difficult with much stress and effort, and if the contract is in fact broken, the road to recovery tends to be long and arduous. 


Emotional Abuse in Relationships

Emotional Abuse in a relationship is essentially the abnormal or dysfunctional use of one’s emotional connection and influence over another to inflict emotional or psychological hurt or torture

Emotional Abuse Often Manifests  

After a connection between the two people has been made so that the abuser feels he or she has the power to inflict an emotional wound

Because the abuser has a feeling of insecurity or even a feeling of unworthiness to receive and accept the emotional warmth from their partner

Carefully  the abuser does things in such a way as to cause the targeted partner to initially doubt his or her intentions

The Emotionally Abused

Does tend to have a period of wondering if they are over-reacting

Experiences some measure of UN-ease or distress

Finally  makes a decision they either endure hoping things will change or decide to terminate the relationship or try to get some support for the relationship

Getting support for the relationship is essentially dependent on the abuser willingness to change .. no one personal or professional can make another change

Hold the keys as to whether they will form and continue in an emotionally abusive relationship

The Emotional Abuser’s Agenda

Interest of the emotional abuser is basically to break down his or her partner so that they too feel unworthy and unlovable thereby increasing their sense of security in the relationship

Operate within an intimate relationship where he or she feels emotionally powerful and in control of his or her partner


Trust  your gut from the start .. if your potential partner says, does not say, implies, does, or does not do, or uses non-verbals in a way that feels demeaning and meant to hurt, even if in doubt do something about it and observe carefully from thereafter

Understand the craftiness of the emotional abuser in finding ways to get your family and friends to support his or her desires 

eXit  if no change is noted … emotional abuse in a relationship is a pattern of relating        


Of all the forms of ABUSE 

EMOTIONAL ABUSE is the least spoken of since its impact is not readily seen and if/when seen the link is not traced to the EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Of all the forms of EMOTIONAL ABUSE

                                                                                      Abuse by Proxy  is the least spoken of yet it has the GREATEST POTENTIAL TO DO THE GREATEST HARM

Abuse by proxy

  • If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding.
  • The third parties are used them to cajole, coerce, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate the abuser’s target.

Obviously the abuser is able to come out “smelling like a rose” while the target must grapple continually with being subtly and not so subtly convinced to let the abuser have his/her way. 

Managing Mental Health in such cases is essential.

KarryOn officially celebrates its 1st Anniversary tomorrow October 14th 

There is one topic that KarryOn has left untouched yet it is this thing that is with us that we do not speak of yet it shows its impact


MENTAL/EMOTIONAL DISTRESS sometimes leading to Breakdowns


MENTAL/EMOTIONAL DISTRESS sometimes hindering an individual’s ability to function well at work or at home or both

Life is relationships in all different forms at different levels and in different environments

Relationships take place in a social context be it the home school office community nation region internationally

When we talk relationships we are talking POWER differences among individuals 

And because we as mankind are imperfect POWER can always be abused 

and so SOCIAL INJUSTICE is part and parcel of our life

So often though we are forced to deal with the result of the injustice only yet two things are required to maintain one’s mental health and survive when exposed to social injustice

  1. ACCEPT IT FOR WHAT IT IS …. many who refuse to accept it sometimes behave in ways that heap frustration upon stress upon frustration upon stress and the end result …. “man with gun ….” or “mental meltdown” acceptance is not excusing it is EMPOWERING YOURSELF
  2. DO YOUR s.w.a.t. ANALYSIS ….  …. need to deal with the REALITY OF THE SITUATION

bottom line







!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOCIAL INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!