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Parenting Matters

Brain operations are very technical

As a parent if your child need to undergo a brain operation, it could be quite nerve-wrecking because the brain is so important and because brain surgery is very technical.

Did you know as parents you operate on your children’s brain?

We think that brain operations require special tools and physically entering the brain. And that is true too.

There is another way to literally (no joke) operate on the brain and change how it works, change how the nerve impulses are firing or working and its through experiences, its through support and encouragement, its through relaxation techniques.

So are you preparing your child to conquer their World?

think #ent … empower neuron (nerve impulses) trigggers by;

providing experiences that promote a feeling of confidence and showing ways to self-soothe and calm down when disappointed or distressed

just these two simple approaches working together keeps empowering neuron triggers in a way to make your child more resilient…

Enjoy today’s operations! And keep those operations going!

So we began exploring how do we know/if or when we might be being a bit ‘overprotective’

A … about Anxiety

Anxiety is basically a feeling of apprehension/reluctance/fear/misgiving about some future outcome. This feeling comes with some sort of biological and/or behaviour response. It shows up then in either doing things or avoiding doing things.

For children between the ages of 5-12 especially anxiety goes against their natural developmental tendencies which is to explore, learn and build a sense of industry (satisfaction with getting things done).

So how could ‘overprotection’ move children away from industry and toward a general anxiety?

Scenario 1:

Tracey (not her real name) was the baby in the family. Her brothers and sisters were a decade and some older than her. Her mom experiences some difficulties and was very particular about ‘preparing’ Tracey for the World she must face and the types of people she would meet. To do this mom made sure that Tracey got a strong religious background, emphasizing that the ‘God of the Universe’ would deal with ‘wicked people’. Now, Tracey came to the office because she was not doing as well in school as mom desired and could do better according to her teacher. Meeting Tracey, one thing was clear, she understood that the World was a very dangerous place with lots of wicked people. She understood that she should ‘guard’ herself from ‘evil influences’. But what was more was that the lightness that usually comes with being a child was lost. What was happening? In mom’s desire to protect and teach spirituality, Tracey was being drained of … openness to experience, a sense of safety, trust vs. general mistrust, and so she could hardly be free enough, keep energy enough to focus on her ‘work’, her school work.

For industry, children need to feel like a child and part of that is the sort of bliss (sheltering from some harshness as it were) so that they could get on with the business of their day … their school work..etc.

Scenario 2: This one would be kept short.

Chad looked on at what was taking place in the home between his parents. He knew his parents “pretended” as if everything was alright for his sake. Chad was underperforming in school. In chatting with Chad it became clear that ironically his parents attempts to ‘protect’ him from what was happening was causing the opposite response. Chad ‘did not want to turn out like his dad’. He came to the conclusion that mom was frustrated and disappointed and he thought eventually ‘they would split’. Even though Chad is an older child, being a young teen, his reasoning remained as a child and without realizing it he was choosing to ‘stop working on his work…schoolwork’ almost as if in some way this might ‘solve’ the problem. But more importantly it was Chad’s way of dealing with his anxiety of becoming a man he could not like.

Sometimes in ‘protecting’ children from what is already obvious to them, the reverse happens because children do tend to come with very active imaginations.

So if you notice that general anxiety or a tendency to not be as interested in their activities (school work etc.) chances are there is some sort of anxiety about the future in one way or the other…

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Enjoyed being around lots of children yesterday from tiny tot to terrific teens (or maybe for some parents, it sometimes ‘the terrifying teen’ lol) either way, one question came to mind; are our children being raised to conquer their World?

Our New World

Children of today find themselves in a World the actually gives them little time for ‘child’s play’, let me explain. Very early in the child’s life they directly or indirectly and increasingly would be being made aware of the dangers around. Even if parents try to ‘hide’ the media is everywhere and in every form. Yet parents remain with the responsibility of helping their children feel safe and secure. And for children to develop healthy, literally to keep a sound sane mind, they need a sense of safety and security.

Parenting Dilemma

The parenting dilemma then is how to move beyond making children feel safe to putting things in place to keep them safe. And here in comes the sometimes intentional and sometimes unintentional ‘overprotectiveness’ of some parents. But some might say, “in today’s World we must…to safeguard children”. But the thing to remember is as parents we are raising the adults of tomorrow, so eventually these now children must move off and deal with this New World.

So ‘overprotection’… how do we recognize it?

P—Paralysis … if or when our approach as parents lead to our children’s ‘paralysis’ meaning that they become ‘fearful’ of taking action because they feel unable to without parent’s presence (relative to the age of the child of course) or because they consider a situation more scary than it is then… it’s ‘overprotection’ (inste

P—Protection promotes progress … the child who feels protected in the right measure, moves out confidently and explores new activities and actions (again relative to their age), knowing that if needed they could easily turn to parents for assistance and guidance

But even with that being said it is an ongoing process as parents … it’s helpful then to check-in with ourselves sometimes to ensure our parenting protection is being given in good measure ….tune in next week for the “A”

Everyone of us has a family of origin. This family has shaped our attitudes, behaviours and biology. Time taken to understand it and for others coming into the family to understand it and work on improving ‘natural family tendencies’ can support our mental health and that of future generations.

here’s that full interview with the single dad YOUTUBE VIDEO LINK: http://YOUTUBE VIDEO LINK:

So let’s ‘fool’ around with our family of origin, get to know understand it and play with some new ways of being

International Children’s Day recognizes children as our future. It is a declaration that children are simply little people with feelings worthy of respect and consideration with a right to safety and decent treatment. Our children eventually become adults who rais future children. Safeguarding our children is safeguarding our communities.

Especially we had International Men’s Day coming the day before International Children’s Day and it is a case of the chicken and the egg, which comes first the boy or the man, for each continues to influence the other and then impact our girls and women;

Belonging and Connectivity are important for children to have a healthy self-esteem…as children begin to go out into the wider World, it is their peer group that they want most to connect with and belong to….and so it is important to help our children to have a desire to belong and connect to a group of friends/peer group that would help them become ‘good citizens’ of their little school community

#coaching during times of transitions @vailable @t

Know Your Friends! and help the children know who are theirs

Order stability creates a measure of safety and security for our children as they grow and become more and more independent and explore their World.


part of what creates that is understanding that their are rules….


children are naturally ego focused the younger they are and its necessary…part of the adults job is to help them learn how to move beyond and interact with others and consider others…


Rules are all around and those who do not follow rules are in one way or the other isolated…this is what we begin to teach with the idea of a ‘naughty corner’ … (it is important then that children understand the reason for a naughty corner)

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