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Now this whole matter of #metoo has been something that as a therapist has been quite disturbing….


because for myself the idea of me too has always had positive connotations and something to be celebrated and

because the idea of saying me too very often seems somewhat to be making a mockery of whatever the issues are at hand … and this is exactly what many fear might be happening with the great number of men being accused of sexual abuse/assault years after the fact…as mentioned in conversations with others … where is the evidence? and this no doubt is the idea of Catherine Deneuve et al. with the signing of the petitions

So emphasizing with the innocent men…. but here is the thing…

sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment and bullying of women is ridiculously prevalent ….

and it is the ridiculous prevalence that allows the idea of #metoo to resonant so clearly

Here is an example…

A therapist met this guy. They had a brief sexual encounter which he chose to virally spread. This was in conjunction with the therapist being part of a sort of ‘reality show’ where she and this ex and one other woman would vive for this guy’s attention by it would seem their sexual performing abilities. The therapist was appalled, sought answers none were forthcoming. She realized the guy was not that innocent and it was generally felt she was over reacting. Eventually to make a long story short, it was decided therapist won the reality competition despite the fact that her oral expertise remain questionable. The therapist of course noted the psychological warfare and sexual harassment for what it is and has no desire for this guy. The result is to subtly bully the therapist to return and settle with this guy by withholding support.

Now does that story not seem unbelievable …and where is the evidence..there is none…but guess what …that therapist can also say #metoo…..

Seems  its a case of …

WOOOP There it is…

Yes WOOOP ….. women only objects of pleasure….. 

(and this then makes all sorts of unbelievable stories very true)

so guys while the empathy is there for the innocent….

we might be able to appreciate that it is only when or if we move pass forcing the code #254 aka BED on women and view them beyond the bedroom and bed performances that #metoo would resonant a little less

If you or someone you know might be recovering from related matters…either target or someone who is dealing with the guilt of having target someone, or someone who has been innocently accused … sessions available @

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Sometimes its hard to correct that which we might be endorsing in so many other ways… 

when it comes to domestic violence we all go up in alms if or when a woman is destroyed through death, yet women destroy men’s lives with their mouths tarnishing reputations, a boss might destroy an employee’s career by destroying their reputation, a political figure might destroy another’s public life unnecessarily because of a hidden agenda…  domestic violence is far more than when that man raises his hand at that woman

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence (and we use this term in a broad based way) log on

We have varied aspects of life … and many adults are well aware of the mutually pleasurable benefits of 69 sexually speaking

But what about being in a relationship where we are constantly put into ‘A FORCED 69’ ..

What is A forced 69?  

Reality is that there are some people who literally feed upon others… they choose partners for a supply of ‘good feelings’ to them… it might be the boost they get from their partners beauty, status, money, producing of beautiful children, admiration and love of them, obedience and loyalty to them etc.

And so because their type of love being the love = I love how I can feed off of you to feel good about me …………they constantly put their partner in a forced 69 position…. meaning a position where their partner like it or not must keep supplying pleasure non stop to them by thinking doing and behaving as they like so they can keep feeding of them and feeling good while they in turn keep feeding their partner with information as to how to think what to do and how to behave to make them feel good …………….. and there you have it its a forced 69

Its a forced 69 since no choice is really given to the partner they feed upon for like the vampire they care not whether the partner wants to be feed on or not, they do things to force their partners attention in their direction .. a sort of molestation emotionally … and so when they get their partners attention they can inform them of what they must think feel and how to behave today so they good feel others words drink their feel good supply and get an emotional high

The Myth of a Forced 69! 

Thing is the forced 69 is a far cry from that of the bed chambers …

because when dealing with such a partner they get fat off their partners emotions while the other partner becomes drained of their life source


Online Counselling … Relationship Counselling @


There it was today went seeking a lock … and was drawn to a lock with a code that acted like the key… 

Guess what? After multiple and do mean multiple attempts the lock refused to budge and remains unused .. the time effort and money invested to get it was nothing short of annoying and distressing …

Now though at least it was not in vain…

Relationship Lock Out 

Too often we move along in relationships and swallow all sorts of emotional and psychological abuse.. and sing along thinking the trauma is beautiful …

But there is nothing beautiful about …

one partner investing time effort and energy into building a mutual healthy reciprocal relationship while the other partner has a code known only to them that their partner must discover in order for them to get certain basics in a relationship … e.g.

the guy or gal who withdraws emotion until their partner drops specific issues

the guy or gal who does what they can and restricts cash flow to the other partner until they behave as they desire such cases their partner can be trying really hard but it remains a case of the partner just being active searching and searching for the ‘code’ to a healthy happy relationship but they will never be productive or get the desired result since their partner holds the code within the code meaning it is only their partner who holds the power to decide if they will be so ‘kind’ as to allow for some measure of sanity in the relationship … and that only comes when their partner gets what they want…

but do note if one partner must sacrifice self-respect and autonomy for relationship peace in essence that partner is sacrificing the core of self and their perceptions and understandings of their reality and by extension their sanity   ….

There is a simple word for this .. ABUSE!


One experience that always stood out was that of the therapist who shared her experience of being bullied this therapist never having experienced bullying before took some time to notice what was happening… what always stood out though was how persistent and far-reaching bullying can become and how much it taxes bod mind and spirit …. it took all available resources both personally and professionally for this therapist to maintain self …. but what of those who might not have the natural tendencies that might help or access to resources or be willing to access resources because they self blame…..

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